Every month, during the two or three days before I bleed, my tolerance for bullshit and injustice goes way down. While some realities simply irritate me more than usual, others suddenly feel infuriating, maddening, and/or absolutely unacceptable.
I stopped buying into the generic, dismissive, and disempowering PMS narratives our culture loves to throw around a long time ago. I’ve learned that there is incredible power to be harnessed during the luteal phase of my cycle. This is prime time for witnessing, information gathering, unearthing buried truths, and honoring the wisdom of my body, emotions, and intuition.
This is not, however, the time for taking action. That comes a week or so later, when I’m feeling stronger, better able to regulate my emotions, and more oriented toward actions that serve rather than sabotage myself and others.
A few days ago, it struck me that the Covid-19 crisis we’re all navigating has similar qualities:
Perhaps most importantly of all, it’s thinning the veil between the conscious and the subconscious realms, which means that wisdom is just below the surface, waiting for us to notice its potent presence.
This is no small thing. It means that the wisdom keepers, the healers, and the visionaries of the world–while stressed–are closer to their power than ever.
Trouble is that so many of the most powerful wisdom keepers, healers, and visionaries in the world are mothers, and mothers, as I see it, are among the demographics being hardest hit by the many stressors related to this pandemic.
We have front row seats, mamas. As a collective, we see and feel the pain, the dysfunction, the tragedies, and the injustices of our broken systems and disempowering cultural narratives more often, more acutely, and more intimately than most.
Our hearts are constantly on the pulse of the world’s unmet needs.
But because we are so radically undervalued, overlooked, and misrepresented by the world we live in, we, as a whole, have forgotten our power. We’ve bought into the gaslighting that tells us that our inadequacy is the reason we’re not able to keep up. We’re told that our inner knowings can’t be trusted. We are made to feel that we–the ones loving this hurting world the hardest–are the problem.
(Tragically, though not surprisingly, we don’t even get counted on the essential workers list. I wrote more about that here if you want to get fired up.)
I’m not having it. I won’t stand by and allow this gross oversight to degrade mothers’ sense of self even further and make our thriving even more difficult.
Dear wise, overwhelmed, fed up mothers:
Now is our time–not for taking action, but for peering through that mighty thin veil and opening our hearts to the gems that are rising to the surface.
This is the time for listening deeply to what our bodies and spirits are telling us.
It’s time to break the rules and create our own routines and rhythms according to what works best for our families.
It’s time to see what we’ve been burying for years beneath all the busyness.
It’s time to get real about what’s working and what’s not within our culture.
This is a feminine call to action, which means no action at all until we’ve gotten good and still for long enough to hear our intuition, to call on the wisdom of the wild, to seek the counsel of our ancestors, and to channel the crones within us.
I believe this phase–this unique moment of history–is trying to reorient us toward our wise and wildish nature.
This is also a particularly loud, overwhelming, and distracting moment in history (and likely, in your home). For this reason, I have a few reminders for you. Because I’d hate for all that noise to drown out the soft voice of your soul, begging for your attention right alongside (though much more quietly than) your kids.
Reminders for mothers who also happen to be wisdom keepers, healers, and visionaries:
Which injustices are standing out most to you right now? What feels particularly unacceptable to you these days?
Let these feelings lead you to your passions, your core gifts, and your truth.
What unmet needs are you feeling most acutely?
Take these seriously. Use them as guides.
Please pay attention, dear mother. Dare to look beneath that paper thin veil.
Tempting as it may be to try to make sense of this mess and put the pieces back together as soon as possible, it’s essential that we sit with the discomfort and allow it to guide us deeper. Premature meaning making is a thing we do to help ease our discomfort, but it also adds to our burden and fools us into thinking we can skip the hardest, most transformative step: staying soft and present, feeling all the feelings, and allowing ourselves to be remade by grief’s healing hands.
With love, respect and healthy dose of rage,
Photo credit goes to my amazing eldest daughter @inrogis.