As some of you know, I got a kitten this year. As others of you know, given my extreme cat allergies throughout my life, this is not something I saw coming.
Goose is pure, playful, sweet, hypoallergenic medicine for my nest-almost-empty mama heart. I was never a cat person and now I’m 1000% a cat person. You just never know what curveball is coming next, but thankfully some of them are soft and fill our days with joy.
Anyway, Goose loves to be wherever I am, and often, as close to me (and especially to my head) as possible. While I’m working, this looks like him wedging himself between my back and the backrest of my office chair. This was lovely and cozy when he was little bitty, but it now means that my (medium-large) booty is scooted all the way to the edge.
The solution seems easy, right (especially to those of you who aren’t lap pet people)?
Just move the stinkin’ cat.
But here’s the thing: the mama in me is BIG. She’s one of the most developed, most confident, and most deeply caring of all the parts that live within me.
So what was happening was that I was going for a long time, sometimes over an hour, before even realizing I was sitting in a compromised position.
Apparently, despite how good I’ve gotten at boundary setting in general, get me around a wee one again and their needs come first. Their comfort, their coziness, their felt sense of safety and security.
So, as I often to do when I can feel that I’m in the presence of an overactive part, I’ve come up with a simple, gentle reminder from my crone mama self to that younger self that just wants to nurse the whole world back to health:
“It’s okay to move the cat.”
Other variations on this theme?
It’s okay to let others–even those you love–feel disappointed.
It’s okay to say no, even to sweet invitations.
It’s okay to choose comfort in your body over others’ desire for you to comfort them.
I think what this statement is ultimately saying is that my mother part is only one of a whole community of worthy parts within me, and I care enough about those other parts to keep my inner mother in check.
Another way to think about this is that it’s essential that we let our inner mother mature. More on this idea next week!
Booty taking up the whole damn seat,