Every time we deny or ignore our own needs, desires, and intuition in order to “keep the peace” with others, we move farther away from the inner peace we’re actually craving.
When “keeping the peace” on the outside is disturbing our peace on the inside, we’re usually not actually acting from a place of peace at all. Rather, we are people pleasing, playing small, staying hidden, or keeping quiet as a way of avoiding conflict and trying to stay connected (whether the connection is healthy or not).
As women, we are biologically wired for connection. This is one of our greatest collective strengths, and all strengths have shadows. “Keeping the peace” has been a life or death survival tactic for women throughout history who didn’t have freedom to make choices in their best interests. (Side note: seems like we keep eeking back toward that freedom-less history in some ways).
Now that many of us DO have the specific freedom to not have to “keep the peace” for survival, we get to choose more healthy, inspiring, life-giving connections. This requires that we break deeply embedded generational patterns and let go of centuries-old coping strategies, which can be a super messy, uncomfortable, and even painful process.
Oh my gosh, but it’s so worth it, friends. Life on the other side of this work can actually feel like freedom. Peace on the inside is so worth disrupting the peace on the outside for a time.
With you as you prioritize your internal peace,
I’ve come to believe the real “homework” is coming home to ourselves on the inside–learning what we like, what we dislike, what we need, what is authentic to us, what we can let go of, and to discover our wholeness that is independent of all externalities.