1. Dominique says:

    Thank you for adding substance to my embrionic thoughts on the matter!

  2. Rita says:

    Thank you, Beth. Needed to hear this today.

  3. luisa says:

    every time I read your stuff, I feel like you’ve written it for me and I learn something. thank you for that, lovely. can’t wait to read your stuff in darling or some other awesome publication. xoxo

    • Beth says:

      Thank you, Luisa. Again. Your comments are like little gems that I carry around in my pocket. I’m working on something darling for the first of the year.

  4. Beth,
    my sister is 7 years older than me and had 4 kids before I even had 1 so she was my go-to-person when I was having parenting problems. I have often found my firstborn to be very challenging and my sister used to say to me “just stop expecting it to be different.” When dealing with behaviour, I’ve found this really hard to assimilate into my thoughts as I was raised to believe that parents could “make kids be good.” Sure, behaviour needs to be addressed with loving authority and clear consequences, but the truth is that it’s only my expectation that things be different that makes the situation upsetting. This is still a huge struggle for me.

    Regarding your 4 examples above, I’ve recently started telling myself, “this is but one season in my life.” This is really helpful for me to accept the current circumstances for what they are. You can’t rush the change of seasons and you have to dress and behave appropriately for whatever season it is NOW, and otherwise, all you can do is plan for what’s ahead.

    • Beth says:

      “You can’t rush the change of seasons and you have to dress and behave appropriately for whatever season it is NOW.” RIGHT ON. And I couldn’t agree more about the expectations we maintain. Our eldest threw that one in our faces pretty hard, too. Ultimately, I am grateful that she challenged my notions of control so early on in the game. Sure feels better to think of parenting as a dance, rather than a dictatorship.

  5. Carmen says:

    I always love your posts, Beth. I also struggle a lot with the messy house thing so I really loved one day when a father came to pick up his daughter from a play date and I made my usual, “sorry, the house is kind of messy” comment when he said very passionately, “Houses are made for living. They are not museums!” I’ve tried to keep that in mind ever since.

  6. Alexandra says:

    A wonderful perspective, thank you! 🙂

  7. Milinda says:

    Really needed this today. Even thousands of miles away, you can bring an insightful smile into my heart. Thanks;)

    • Beth says:

      Right back at you, Milinda. Your enthusiasm and creative spirit fuel me. You’re in an interesting leg of the journey — here’s to finding treasures in the vulnerability.

  8. Holly says:

    I love laughing with you!!!

  9. Michelle says:

    Thank you. Long story short, I have been up since 3am and wasn’t even able to get my run in. I got to work and have been attempting to get my head in the game. How did I start? Well, by reading your blog of course!! And it worked.

    Thank you. I will take some deep breaths and aim to let go of my panic for the day.

  10. Erin says:

    I always enjoy your blog posts.

  11. Barb says:

    Beth, I know your Mom and your sister and so started reading your blog quite a while ago through their links. It has been funny knowing them and yet never meeting you so in a way I feel like I was looking over their shoulder at their family’s life. So instead of lurking, I shall properly introduce myself!
    This post was amazing. I’m a mom of 7 kids, and yet I always carry the emotional weight of “making them ok.” Just the thought that, “My time is better spent modeling healthy behaviors/reactions/choices than trying to fix their perceived “problems.” is amazingly brilliant.
    You truly have a voice that is important to hear. Thanks for putting it into words and out there so we can enjoy and learn.
    Blessings, Barb

    • Beth says:

      Well hello, Barb! Nice to (finally) “meet” you! I really appreciate your encouragement and complements. Meeting the emotional needs of SEVEN kids? Now THAT’S quite a load. Glad a to help you lighten it a bit – at least in theory, if not in loads of LAUNDRY. My best to you and yours this holiday season, and hug my fam for me when you see them. They’re something special, aren’t they?

  12. Heide says:

    Once again I am inspired and opened up by your writing Beth. So transformative. A shift in being, in how we hold our thoughts, certainly holds the possibility for freedom, ownership and peace. It is always amazing to me how a simple shift in perspective can cause an incredibly different outcome in how we live. God bless you sister! Much love, Heide

  13. Liz says:

    Thank you for such an eloquent reminder! I am sure a less problem-labeling, more circumstance-responding mindset is the reason parenting my baby son seems so easy when compared with his older sister. It’s a lesson I seem to keep returning to from all different angles.

  14. Leenie says:

    Wow! I am so thrilled to find your blog. Like a breath of fresh air and an affirmation of what I do here at home in the mountains of WV and who I am at heart. I’ll be checking back in often.

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