A quick list, in case you’re in a messy or foggy phase of your healing process and could use some confirmation that you haven’t lost your way.

Sure signs that you’re healing (and becoming a more powerful changemaker):

1. You’re starting to be able to feel it in your body and spirit when you have capacity for something and when you don’t.
   
2. You’re starting to see paradox everywhere and gradually increasing your ability to hold two or more contradicting realities or truths at once.
   
3. You’re able to access your ‘hell yes’ and ‘fuck no’ more easily. You feel it in your body when you’re misaligned or out of integrity.
   
4. You’re constantly self-reflecting and open to the possibility of being wrong. You’re ALSO increasingly clear that some people will take advantage of your willingness to hold yourself accountable in order to avoid doing the work themselves, and you’re learning to put boundaries in place with these people as needed.
   
5. You’re more and more honest with yourself about what you really want and what’s not working for you.
   
6. You care less and less whether your choices make sense to other people.
   
7. You’re realizing that not everyone you love is interested in growth and healing to the degree that you are, and that this difference between you will likely mean that your relationship changes.
   
8. You’re able to recognize when you’re experiencing the necessary and normal discomfort of growth vs. the pain of self-abandonment and/or denial of your truth or needs.
   
9. You take your needs seriously and lean into your heart and soul’s desires.
   
10. You’re committed to making your inner world a safe, nourishing place for ALL of you, and you’re gradually tending to the wounded and hurting parts that have been exiled or mistreated through the years.
    
11. You’re starting to see how many systems, structures, norms, and narratives affect your ability to thrive, and you’re committed to examining your stories around and relationship to those realities.
    
12. You’re starting to diversify your coping strategies. You’re also not surprised (and you’re kinder to yourself) when you circle back around to old habits and patterns. You know that this is not a personal failing, but part of what it means to be human.
    
13. You’re increasingly okay with disappointing others in order to be true to yourself.
    
14. You desire emotional safety and true intimacy in your closest relationships and you’re willing for things to feel messy for a while as you’re reorganizing your life in order to get there.
    
15. You’re attracted to people you didn’t used to be (healthier ones!) and repelled by others who used to draw you in.
    
16. You’re taking bolder and more courageous steps into the unknown.
    
17. You’re starting to prioritize rest more often and with increasing fierceness.
    
18. You have less and less interest in people and circumstances that drain you.
    
19. Grief is your new travel companion.

Remember, all of this growth makes you less likely to cause harm in the world, better able to participate as a co-creator of the more beautiful life your heart knows is possible, and primed for a life full of richness, depth, beauty, and meaning. Don’t forget to periodically stop, rest, and celebrate how far you’ve come. Your healing—in and of itself—is changemaking.

What would you add to this list?

Onward, brave heart,