As mothers, we need to be better about naming what we ARE doing when it feels like we’re not doing enough.
We’re so thoroughly conditioned to look at ourselves through a patriarchal, capitalistic lens; one that would have us produce and consume endlessly and to our detriment in order to prove our dedication and earn our worthiness.
Consequently, our self-perception is often distorted.
What changes when you look at your day (and what managed to do throughout your day) as if care and tending mattered even more than producing and consuming? How does your story about yourself change if you’re honoring unpaid care work as the work most essential to people’s wellness and thriving?
Were you lazy today or were you respecting your body’s needs and wisdom and/or recovering from overfunctioning?
Did you get nothing done, or only invisible labor that those around you don’t acknowledge the importance of?
Did you “just” wipe butts and clean toilets, or were you actually also present for dozens of essential moments of heart holding, thoughtful question answering, and co-regulation with vulnerable, impressionable young humans?
Are you really not doing enough or are you actually holding the freaking world together with your love, care, thoughtfulness, tending, and growth mindset in a culture that exploits caregivers and acts like care work isn’t real work?
Let’s normalize including care work, emotional labor, invisible labor, mental load, personal growth, self-regulation, and self-compassion in any and every assessment of enoughness.
Care work matters the most,