I get it. I get impatient with myself and others too. Over the years, I have found ways to work with this impatience and tend to myself when I’m not where I want to be (or judging someone else for not being where I want them to be! ;)).
Here’s a start:
Identify your needs. Often, our impatience reflects nervous system dysregulation, or unmet/undermet needs. Are you depleted? Overwhelmed? Overworked? Afraid? Pushing too hard?
Identify your core desired feelings. Sometimes we’re so set on growth and healing that we forget what we’re doing all this work for. How do you assume you will feel once you’ve made it through this stretch of healing? Find ways to feel those things now rather than assuming peace, pleasure, joy, and lightness, etc., won’t be available to you until you’ve “arrived” (whatever that even means).
Look to the natural world. As Lao Tzu states, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” Regular nature connection can help us relax into the growth process and recognize the unique gifts of the season we’re in.
Seek out support. Going it alone only makes things harder and more disorienting. Mentorship, community support, and empathy from those who’ve gone before us can make all the difference (while simultaneously helping us heal from the wounds of hyper-individualism).
Check in with your body, often. Name your feelings. Sit with your sensations. Slow down enough to hear and feel what’s wanting to be tended. Become a gentle, devoted steward of your inner landscape and watch things begin to flourish.
Take breaks. Those of us who are especially growth and healing oriented need to remember that it’s not only okay but essential to take breaks. Binge watch a show, read a juicy novel, listen to loud music that helps you access lightness and fun. Your wholeness requires that you engage and get to know all your parts, not just your inner healer.
Believe people when they show you who they are. Some people aren’t interested in growing and healing (I know, it boggles my mind, too) and would rather lean on their coping strategies of choice than do the work or face the pain of healing. Hard as it can be to accept, it’s not your job to convince them to grow. It IS your job to believe them when they show you who they are and what they’re capable of or willing to do.
What helps you pace (and accept the pace) of your growth and healing process?
Strong back, soft heart,
Are you feeling impatient with your (or someone else’s) growth?