You don’t have to make sense of everything you’re experiencing right now.
Premature meaning-making is a thing we do to to help ease our discomfort and anxiety, but it also adds to our burden and fools us unto thinking we can skip the hardest, most transformative step in any growth and healing process:
Staying soft and present, feeling all the feelings, and allowing ourselves to be remade by the healing hands of grief.
Early meaning-making seems to be a favorite coping strategy, not just for controlling types, but for deep thinkers and visionaries and self-healers. It was my go-to for years.
Looking back on the hardest times of my life, though, I see a few things:
The meaning I made of hard times while I was living them wasn’t near as beautiful or profound or useful as the meaning I made once I made it through.
Adding meaning-making to my already-heavy emotional load kept me busy, and keeping busy was “comfortable” (i.e. familiar). Hyper-arousal was my default, particularly during times of stress.
The times when I’ve stayed present and receptive to the pain and mess and confusion within and around me have been much more healing and transformative than the times when I’ve unconsciously skipped steps to avoid discomfort.
Slowing down, staying awake. Observing, accepting, feeling. Softening, softening, softening. Being gentle with your beautiful self.
It’s more than enough.
Navigating the unknown alongside you,