1. Ashton says:

    I love this. Thank you I have to read this again later while I’m not multi tasking. I’ve been feeling this hard lately but not able to put it into words. I will be sharing this with my readers????

  2. Rosa B says:

    This article was empowering. Thank you for your insight.

  3. Rachel says:

    Thank you for writing this! It’s the first time I have read an article that talks about conscious parenting from this perspective and it makes so much sense! Of course we can’t strive to achieve all the parenting goals we set out for ourselves when our culture/reality is not set up to support them and I had never realised this before, instead I’ve just blamed myself for not being good/wise/patient/understanding/respectful enough – you know the list goes on! Thanks for your insightful perspective as always x

    • Beth says:

      I’m so glad my message resonated with you, Rachel. The list goes on until we decide to stop doing that to ourselves and care for ourselves as well as we do our equally-imperfect children. Thank you for your sweet comment!

  4. Sandy says:

    Thank you so much for posting this! I love it 🙂 I’ve shared on my group page as …



  5. Beth: this is an excellent post act I thank you so much for writing it! I teach Becoming Us classes (based on the book of the same name, by Elly Taylor) and so much of what you share here is a part of the curriculum. Women (and their partners!) of this generation are probably the most well-read ever when it comes to parenting… They just react to do it “right” but that means they are also the most overwhelmed and anxious parents ever as they strive for those ideals in parenting that are wholly unsupported by our culture. It is part of my mission to let them know this massage: it’s not them, they are not failures – they are being failed by our broken system. I really, really appreciate this message from you. Thank you.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you so much, Barb! I’m really glad to hear about this book and curriculum. I’ll be sure and check them out. All the best to you, mama!

  6. Neda Behmardi says:

    Thank you thank you thank you thank you … I am too emotional to write more to you but you said everything I was feeling and more and not having the adequate knowledge to explain this to the people around me … Thank you so much for validating what I feel … and writing this so beautifully!

  7. Sarah Carter says:

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Great article and could not agree more! My husband and I moved our family to a rural mountainous area which has drastically improved our ability to conscious parent but we do still have our struggles in this technological world. I know that moving is not an option for many. My hope is that we grow in support as a society. The future depends on it and our children deserve it! Well done! This is just the beginning.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you so much for your affirming words, Sarah. I, too, have alleviated a great deal of my stressors by moving to a place that feels slower and more supportive to me, but you’re right, that’s not possible for everyone. All the best to you as you continue to fight the good fight!

  8. Stefanie says:

    This is the most validating insightful perspective! Thank you. I was proud of my parenting accomplishments and it almost killed me. I had no support. We are still reeling from the women can do it all phenomenon. I believe in all the better teachings and practices but the mothers need so much more.

    • Beth says:

      I feel you, Stefanie. I, too, nearly lost my mind trying to “do it all” 12 years ago. “I believe in all the better teachings and practices but the mothers need so much more.” Amen to that, mama.

  9. Nicolette says:

    Thank you for these words, and for this side of the story and how it fits into our current context. I would like to add that these ideals are often even more difficult for many people who have been marginalized and systematically oppressed. So I would like to add to the list that we need safe spaces and extra support for those communities and to encourage those voices to be represented and heard.

  10. Lauren Hefflin says:

    Such an enlightening perspective. Had multiple ah ha moments throughout. Thank you for sharing. -Lo

  11. Anxious mama of 3 says:

    Thanks for writing this! I read this as I was unable to sleep because I was feeling like such a mom failure last night. This got me sleep last night, so I came back to reread it again to help me sleep tonight.

  12. Karla says:

    Thank you ????????
    I read you and feel that someone else was able to briefly summarize what my husband and I had being experiencing our last 5 years , trying to do our best to do something we don’t have reference – conscious , positive, holistic, spiritual, etc parents.
    It’s exhausting ..we have being feeling heartbroken, guilty and lost most of the time trying to do our best.
    I am glad you take time to share this meaningful insights that help us to find light and release a little bit the high expectations we put in our shoulders!

    Thank you!

  13. Hannah says:

    Thank you. Today I watched a mother doing the usual telling off of her son for not sitting still. My son has the same challenges but I don’t agree with telling off and am doing my best to find love and ‘hold the space for him’ when he reacts angrily and I don’t tell him off for what is very hard for him to do. It was hard but I felt proud I didn’t tell him off for what he is unable to do yet. Still it is draining and yes it sort of replicates the ‘norm’ is still to chastise your son to be seen as a competent parent. Weird territory and going by my instincts that is not correct. But it is draining and confusing as I accept my 3 year old son needing to move (as do the teachers) and am being as flexible as possible while this models a different approach to her son, and I don’t want to undermine but still cannot just copy to put her at ease and have to listen to my heart. What you say is what I was experiencing first hand today. Thanks for expressing this.

  14. Keke says:

    This is the truth. Over a decade into motherhood and this is right on.

  15. Rob A. says:

    Really great article Beth, thanks for taking the time to write it. I’m actually a father and found this looking for ways to try and not feeling allowed to parent my children (with her comfort) without following Tsabary’s book to the letter. I’m an author myself and a pretty smart guy but the quote you cite above:
    “As you muster the courage to abandon the control inherent in a hierarchical approach and step into the spiritual potential of a circular parent/child dynamic, you will find yourself increasingly free of conflict and power struggles,”
    I mean seriously, Plato’s Five Dialogues is more clear. Any advice you might have on further tempering the ideal with real is much appreciated.

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