1. Amy says:

    YES to every powerful word. Beth Berry for president! (Kidding/not kidding.)

  2. Piskito says:

    Thank you, Beth, thank you so much for writting so beautifully everything I’ve been thinking latelly, and more (3 kids, the youngest is still 5 months old, my mind can’t elaborate much these days…)

    • Beth says:

      You are very welcome, Piskito. I totally relate with the limited mental capacity that comes with raising young children, and especially babies. It does get easier to think straight as they get older! Sending love.

  3. Heidi Nevin says:

    Really beautiful and so important. Thank you.

  4. A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!! All of this!!! Thank you for putting it all so eloquently. This is why I do what I do in birth work.

  5. Tina says:

    I have tears streaming down my cheeks as I type this. I cannot thank you enough for putting into words everything I have thought and felt since the birth of my son. I tried so very hard to “bounce back”. Only when I stopped and accepted that EVERYTHING had changed and not only was there no going back, I also didn’t want to, did I stop the free fall into depression. I just cannot express fully how much your words spoke to my soul. Thank you.

    • Beth says:

      Oh Tina, I feel your pain. I really do. You are far from alone in your struggle, mama. I work with women all the time who tried to “stay strong” and not change, and ultimately surrendered to the even greater strength of motherhood. Many blessings to you as you continue to step forward courageously. YOU ARE BRAVE.

  6. Amy says:

    Thank you so much for your wise words. I struggle with this issue daily, especially when i see other mums who are doing it all. I have become very vulnerable since having my babies who are now 5 and 1.5.
    I also loved your article about mums struggling without a village to help them too. I often feel like im parenting on my own because i have little support, despite reaching out. Ive tried to do it all on my own and to bounce back but my spirit just wasnt really interested and now i understand why. I definetely need to listen to that side of myself more. Thank you for all you do.

    • Beth says:

      Oh Amy, how I hear you. It can be SO challenging to look around us and feel like everyone else is handling their lives gracefully while we’re struggling alone. The truth is that plenty of them are struggling, too. There are no mums who are doing it all, it just seems that way from afar. Please keep reaching out and being brave. You’ll find your sisters sooner that way. They’re out there, desperately hoping to meet you, too.

  7. Tiggy says:

    This ul resonates so beautifully with me today…. Thanks!

  8. Anonymous says:

    As I read this I kept saying in my mind Yes and Amen. I struggled a lot with my body after pregnancy. My husband cheated on me and looked at me like I was disgusting, like something was wrong with me.

    There was something wrong. I wasn’t loving myself. The Creator reaffirmed His love for me and told me to spend more time with myself. You are absolutely right about doing what makes you feel strong. I began swimming again, something I loved as a child and loss 30lbs.

    When appropriate I share pieces of my story with women and let them know that no matter what they look like Our Creator loves every part of us.

    For my husband, I discovered he didn’t know how to love himself either, so he truly couldn’t love anyone. We’re both in a healing process. Thank you for this post

    • Beth says:

      I love that your journey resulted in greater self-love for both of you, however challenging a process it was to get there. I’m also so happy to hear that you found your way back to a sense of strength! Thank you for sharing your story with other women. That is so powerful, and needed.

  9. Robert says:

    I am a dad,(Robert) and I am sure there are more males about like me,and my belief is that motherhood is as a precious jewel,hidden beneath view for as long as is needed, then discovered,worked on,polished, released and left to shine on our world.I have witnessed,and felt the emptiness of the loss and last breath of my partner, and believe me,the only things of value that were left behind were our children, and the love we shared with others.Nothing else mattered. Mothering and parenthood are the most fantastic,rewarding,powerful and influential roles a human can take on.They are more important than anything else.Sure, it may be nice to “look” physically the way we were before having children, but really,come on, life has changed,our beautiful babies have changed us,made us so much better people and although hard work,our lives are enriched beyond expectations.As I have got older there is nothing more attractive,eye catching,and enjoyable to behold than a confidant,happy,relaxed,strong,mother with her children. They glow with a radiance and I reckon other guys recognise this but just maybe are unable to fully understand what it is all about. Just an older males point of view. Great article Beth.

    • Penny says:

      Thank you Robert for your perspective. It’s a wonderful heart-healing gift for those of us learning to accept those profound changes in ourselves.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you so much for your beautiful, affirming perspective, Robert. Your love for your partner is palpable and your reverence for motherhood and parenthood a real gift. I agree that there are many men who feel as you do, though becasue it’s not a culturally condoned perspective, the whole subject can feel confusing and conflicting. I so appreciate you reaching out and honoring us all.

  10. amy adams says:

    I realize you are a mother, but a majority of what you wrote is not limited to mothers – it applies to ALL women with or without children.

  11. tara says:

    Thank you.
    As I sit here 7 weeks postpartum with the task of writing a thank you letter to my body for my last new mom workshop meeting, I’m struggling.
    I’m struggling finding anything in my current state to feel “thankful” for. Minus the ways I nourish and comfort my son, I just detest the new normal I’m in. I cry at pictures and avoid my reflection.
    Your words made me realize it’s because what I see in the mirror and through a lens doesn’t reflect what I feel. I went from pre pregnancy never feeling like enough to feeling so very “too much” post pregnancy.
    Without the little voice inside my head, the voice coached by the media and fostered by comparing myself to others, I feel like I’m enough. I’m made for and by my son. I’m cherished by my beloved. And I’m celebrated by my friends. I just have to find a way to see myself as enough.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you so much for sharing where you are, Tara. You are so not alone. The postpartum period is so challenging for so many reasons, but you clearly illuminated one of the greatest struggles we face. If we listen to those who are telling us how to be beautiful and worthy, we never will be. It’s a trap. “I am made for and by my son. I’m cherished by my beloved. And I’m celebrated by my friends. I just have to find a way to see myself as enough.” This is so beautiful. May you learn to love yourself with as much tenderness and heart as you clearly love others.

  12. prue says:

    Beth,
    These words speak directly to my heart. I want to share them with every Mother I know.
    Thankyou for sharing. Thankyou thankyou thankyou x x

  13. Shelli R says:

    I like so many others, am deeply touched and inspired by the self compassion and raw awareness that is rising in me from reading your post, Beth! As a woman who became a mother “on purpose” through adoption, I can say with deep assurance that the gifts of greater self love, compassion and vulnerability can come to us even though our soft, wise bellies may not bear the stretch marks of giving birth to our children. For all mothers…all parents, really, are stretched in the most meaningful ways when we allow ourselves to deeply need and be needed by others.

    Beth, your exquisite reflections on how our collective self-acceptance and love can be such a healing force in the world holds such a potent truth. And your words also bring to mind how much our precious planet is in such profound need of “mothering” on so many levels. Thank you!

    • Beth says:

      I am so grateful for your touching affirmation and beautifully articulated perspective, Shelli. Thank you for expanding this conversation to include ALL who mother, no matter the circumstances. Truer words have not been spoken than these: “For all mothers…all parents, really, are stretched in the most meaningful ways when we allow ourselves to deeply need and be needed by others.” Thank you.

  14. Judith says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more! After 7 term-pregnancies and 2 late first trimester miscarriages my body is covered with stretch marks, I weigh close to what I weighed when I got pregnant with our first child, but my body is in no way the same shape even with working out daily. I love my body the way it is now. It is strong, healthy, vibrant, and vigorous! I worked darn hard to earn every one of the those stretch marks, spider veins, and varicose veins and I am proud of them. I wear them as a badge of honor. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant it was also hard work. That hard work changed me into who I am today – more gentle, more patient, more understanding, less ‘rough around the edges’, more compassionate, more loving. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, and motherhood have been important, no, critical, parts of my education is how to be a better human being. I am thankful for all they taught me.

    • Beth says:

      Amen, Judith. It’s so refreshing to hear about people who are able to circumvent cultural conditioning and truly embrace their body as it changes. “That hard work changed me into who I am today – more gentle, more patient, more understanding, less ‘rough around the edges’, more compassionate, more loving.” YES!!

  15. calle says:

    Loved the words of comfort, the words of hope, the words of understanding.
    My hope is that every woman can find her original self.
    We are born each original art works, so why do we end up being a MacDonald’s hamburger, or wishing that on our children?

    It took me years to realize that “I” was in charge of who I needed to become and be.
    Loving compassionate parents loved me raised me and supported me.
    So supporting other young woman on their journey should be part of our calling.
    I believe in supporting others, but the villages I have lived in were not the kind of support I needed.
    Become a Seeker, become knowledgeable, become a resource, become a supporter, but never a woman/mother/friend who thinks they know what is best for other mothers.
    Others have tread the path before us, many jave cried the tears that watered the roses in their hearts.
    Many things we have to learn all by ourselves, just that “human” component of life.
    Each of us creates our own “life quilt”, and each is so unique.
    The only wisdom I can impart is this….your body and your gut need to be nourished. Today’s world is ruining our guts, depression is becoming an epidemic. All because we as mom’s do not care for our inner body. Eat well, don’t take drugs, get sunshine, don’t think that beauty comes out of a bottle.
    We are killing ourselves with xenoestrogens, fake food, EMF’s and what New York dictates what we should be.
    The soft but wrinkled hands of my grandmother who bore 12 children with out the aid of a doctor, who washed all of the clothing, who gardened and cooked, who accepted her body for what it was..A mom!
    Tiny, determined, and never a word of complaint ever passed her lips.
    She is my hero, my queen, and I miss her so. If I could be half the woman she was I would be honored.
    To each, strive to be that “original art work”n choose the path less traveled, be who you feel good being.
    Wonder not what others think of you, but wonder how you can grow, sing and be.

    Each one of you is precious, like a beautiful flower. I am a Pansy , and never wanted to be a Rose.
    Look to the earth to refresh your needs, go barefooted, soak in the sun, wade in a creek, and honor your need to refresh your soul.
    The dishes can wait, but your soul can not.

    Blessings my fellow mom travelers.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you for the beautiful glimpse into your heart, Calle. “The dishes can wait but your soul cannot.” Love it. Blessings right back at you.

  16. Thank you, that is beautiful, and so needed

  17. heather says:

    This is exactly what needed to be written in the way you wrote it was brilliant. I have felt this…myself….and for others….it inspired me too…I became a mothering arts group leader…..and then realized I still had things in myself to work on….so that is what I am doing. Thank you! I am keeping your info so when I begin helping other women again, I have you in my “feminine” tool box!

    • Beth says:

      Thank you, Heather! Supporting others inevitably leads to greater self-awareness, doesn’t it? May the inner work you’re doing be a blessing to many, yourself included.

  18. Wow. Thank you so much for these powerful words. They speak so deeply to what I believe is needed in regards to masculine and feminine balance in our world today. Not yet a mother, but excited to be one someday, I will return to these words often. Thank you.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you, Jocelyn! I love that the need for greater masculine/feminine balance is becoming clear to people of all demographics, ages, and stages of life. Blessings to you as you journey.

  19. Rock on Beth!! This is beautiful, I am not yet a mother but hope to be in the near future and feel very empowered by this. I am a Healer on my path, living my purpose and I just feel so validated when I see other women redefining the divine feminine and speaking up about it. Thank you!

    • Beth says:

      Thank you, Jenilee, for the kind, affirming words, and for living your purpose as a healer. Your gifts are so very needed. xoxox

  20. L says:

    I adored this piece and shared it with my vast network of new mothers and friends in my yoga community. I think you would enjoy http://www.wombyoga.com- a woman named Uma Dinsmore-Tuli wrote a book called Yoni Shakti. It is a masterwork on the divine feminine embodiment. She covers all the life stages and sees the rites of passage through a woman’s life as sacred and holy and never to be ashamed of. I think you would enjoy her work. She lives in England but is coming to the Americas next year.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you so much for sharing my piece with your community and for letting me know about both Womb Yoga and Yoni Shakti. I tried that link but it didn’t work. I’m thinking this may be it?: http://www.wombyoga.org/ Grateful for you!

  21. Danielle says:

    Incredible. Thank you so much for this.

  22. Jerri says:

    Ah, the Nat Geo boobs! They did their job for 5 years that I never regret, for my two babies/toddlers. They are marvelous.

    • Beth says:

      Yes, Jerri! I actually think “Nat Geo” boobs are the norm, it’s just that everyone’s so ashamed that they prop them up and pad them and pretend they’re perkier than they really are. Thanks for reaching out!

  23. Sheri says:

    Very nice. I’ve enjoyed reading.

  24. Barbara Obrien says:

    Honestly reading this 18 months after the birth of my baby with tonnes of self loathing and anxiety and medication you have just hit the nail on the head for me! I’m trying far too hard to be the person I was before I became a mother . I never really have been a person to show emotion or affection until my baby arrived but I try to hide all my emotions so people don’t think I’m weak and vulnerable and after reading this I really feel like that kind of pressure I’m putting on myself to be pre mother hood me has gotten so bad I’ve ended up on medication!

    • Beth says:

      Thank you for reaching out, Barbara. You are not alone. So many of us try and try to revert back to who we were, only to feel depressed and distraught over the inner conflict that creates. May you find the strength (which will sometimes feel like weakness!) to step bravely and gently forward into an expanded version of yourself. Sending love.

  25. Becca Causby says:

    Wonderful piece! The paragraph about recognizing the challenges inherent to mothers in our generation struck a particular note for me. I am a 68 y/o mother of four, among them three daughters who have, collectively, five daughters. I am consistly being made aware of the ways motherhood and mothering have changed just in my lifetime: the expectations, the theory, the methodology, the philosophy. Now, more than ever, support for mothers who are committed to a meaningful life experience for themselves, their children, and their families at large is critical. A more than occasional pat on the back from a foremother (I love that word!) on a day when you are getting absolutely nothing right, can go a long way toward making the abiding difference between feelings of worth and worthlessness. And when a mama feels worthy and capable, it goes a long way toward being empowering. It goes a long way toward being enough.

    • Beth says:

      Thank you, thank you Becca! Your voice and perspective is so very appreciated and NEEDED. I agree that so much has changed in such a short time. The expectations of women and mothers have never been greater or more unrealistic. This is pure gold: “Now, more than ever, support for mothers who are committed to a meaningful life experience for themselves, their children, and their families at large is critical. A more than occasional pat on the back from a foremother (I love that word!) on a day when you are getting absolutely nothing right, can go a long way toward making the abiding difference between feelings of worth and worthlessness. And when a mama feels worthy and capable, it goes a long way toward being empowering. It goes a long way toward being enough.” xoxoxoxo

  26. Aleah Lawrence-Pine says:

    Beth, thank you for these beautiful and encouraging words. I’ve been feeling so many of these things but not quite able to put it so eloquently. And the timing of reading this couldn’t be better as I’ve been working on tapping into my heart center to reimagine what a life purpose and gift to this world may look like when I am out of the baby years. I have decided to take a post partum doula training this fall and start building an offering to support new mamas and families through this incredibly powerful transformation. I feel so reinvigorated, inspired and full of purpose having settled on this and can not express how much finding this direction has allowed me to start relaxing into all of the powerful changes that motherhood has stirred within me. I agree that powerful heart-led women leaders are what we need so desperately on this Earth. With deep gratitude for your words, and boundless love Aleah

  27. Lynne Stokes. Asa Marilyn Stokes says:

    I had three miscarriages after the birth of my now 47 year old daughter. They wanted to do hysterectomy and everything else but I refuse 13 years later I gave birth to my now 34-year-old daughter who came out screaming nurse constantly for three years, held onto my five for dear life . She was both a violin prodigy and a gifted child and being an older parent at 38 I had much more patients and nurtured her every need. Now I’m 71 and first losing the weight after the birth of my 34-year-old which is probably some metabolic happening and I don’t regret one minute of my life with her. Advise the most beautiful fulfilling years and now unfortunately my 47-year-old is being treated for lymphoma she is director of one of the largest physical fitness centers in America and so fit and healthy that after her second chemo, other than being bald,and a surgery to stabilize her left leg before chemo because she said a chance of losing that leg, she is truly wonder woman. No pain killers no stopping her from going to work for some hours having two teenage boys and I just pray that she can continue and finish her chemo treatment and then radiation just as strong as she is now

  28. martina says:

    Thanks for this so true writing on the most beautiful thing in creation: motherhood!
    I feel this also and so happy to see there are more and more mums that share this vision!
    It’s the 1st time i read you but for sure won’t be the last! Blessings

  29. Ellen says:

    You said it all, thank you. I love your writing, your vision, your experience, clarity, and that you go to (what I imagine to be) great lengths to get it all on the page to share with us. We have a lot of work to do to change all of this, and we need all the voices and visionaries that are willing to share. I imagine you will, and already are, contribute a great deal to our evolution as women. Starting of course with your beautiful family. Thank you again!

  30. cari says:

    Love this!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!

  31. Allyson says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever left a comment on any online article I’ve ever read, but this one really struck me. After having my 3 kiddos (7,4,2), I’m not sure really about my identity anymore. I’ve had people ask me, then lead me to asking myself: what makes me happy? And the honest answer is, I don’t know. Before kids, I knew (or thought I knew) a lot about my identity: I was an athlete, teacher, do-it-all. After having kids, and leaving (at least for now) the teaching profession, I really didn’t know who I identified as anymore. And that’s because I’ve changed so much, I don’t think I’ve been able to keep up. Becoming a mother has been the most amazing adventure ever, but it leaves me a bit lost. I don’t know what my new “me” will be. It’s such an overwhelming feeling…not knowing truths about yourself. Hopefully by being vulnerable, by admitting that I don’t know who my new “me” is, I’ll be able to let down my walls of trying to be who I once was (or thought I was). Thank you for reminding me that it’s ok to not know right now…it’ll come 🙂

  32. Such a powerful read. As a woman/mother firmly entranced in my 60’s now, I can apply so many of your powerful words to stepping into this time and not trying to bounce back to 30, 40 or even 50.
    It’s a whole nother story! How my body changes, my desires and needs, my herstory, my goals….. The powerful feminine essence….. a much stronger power than the masculine.
    Lovely, powerful essay Beth.❤️

  33. This is an awesome read, but I still feel that many women let having children be an excuse to not be in the best state of health that they could be in…we can choose to be fit and healthy now, or pay the enormous medical bills associated with all of the diet related chronic medical conditions plaguing our country later.

    If you’re doing the right exercises and eating properly, avoiding harmful foods/habits and have a positive mindset about food and fitness, your body shd become stronger and more fit…the formula never fails…

    Effective Training + proper nutrition + positive mindset and emotional stability = fitness in my mind.

    If you are exercising everyday as stated, you shd feel empowered by your results.. This is not an attack, so pls don’t take it as such.

    I am very comfortable with my stretch marks and the sag in my breasts since having my boys. It’s part of motherhood…I’ve embraced it! I’ve always been athletic…wanting to feel fit, healthy and strong is not to appeal to masculine demands….it’s for my own sense of accomplishment, wellbeing and confidence. I love fitting in my clothes and not wearing spanks or whatever else women wear these days to look slimmer. I love my curves, and I don’t want to wear waist cincher or spanks, etc. I want to just wear clothes I love! So I train hard, and eat right to have the body I want, for ME…not to please anyone else…

    I’m currently training for my first fitness competition…it’s been an amazing journey for me. I’m chronicling my fitness journey on social media (Dr. Di Fit Life).

    So I hear you on one level, but then I don’t on another.

    Fitness is vital! Not to fit a mold created by a masculine culture, but to empower ourselves to be our very best selves for US, and no one else. I am passionate about my body, it’s my temple, I respect it and treat it well.

    Peace and blessings…
    Dr. Di

  34. Lisa says:

    Beth can you clarify why ” western women” specifically? ” Because awakened western women are the first women in the history of the world with a real shot at reviving the sacred feminine to the degree her presence is needed.”

    • Beth says:

      Hi Lisa,

      I appreciate you asking, as this choice of wording seems to have struck a nerve with several people. My thinking on this started some years ago when the Dalai Lama stated that, “The world will be saved by the western woman.” At the time I heard his bold prediction, I was living in Chiapas (the most impoverished state in Mexico), and being deeply affected by the poverty all around me. More specifically, my heart was being broken open by the indigenous mothers whom I witnessed enduring unthinkable injustices. I became convicted during those years to use my position of relative freedom, influence, and privaledge to encourage the empowerment of said “western women” (who happen to be the women on earth I can most easily relate with) so that our collective capacity to alleviate the suffering of less-advantaged mothers would be strengthened. This is the driving force behind most everything I do. It is the greatest passion in my heart.

      By “western women,” I simply meant women living in “developed” nations (also a triggering word for some), or the “first world” (which seems to be an even more outdated classification), with freedom of speech and expression, earning power, laws contributing to their safety, and whose basic survival needs are generally met. I will be rethinking my wording, however, as the last thing I care to do is divide or isolate women further.

      Thank you for drawing attention to this distinction. I welcome any thoughts you may have.

  35. Lana says:

    You rock Beth!!!! Love love love your words of wisdom! Sing it sister X

  36. Kara says:

    I have read this piece every night for the past five days. Thank you for writing this. It has somehow made me feel more whole after having my second child. I’ve shared with moms, friends, and clients. Thank you for verbalizing the unspeakable. We don’t bounce back. We move forward.

  37. Becca says:

    I feel like there is still some absolute thinking about this and this blog talks about the grey areas. I am squishier, feel somewhat weaker, more tired…but I am more available to compassion, empathy, and laughter. Rather than getting my body back, (was it that great to go back to, compared to what I know I am capable of now?), I want to come from where I am now. But where am I now? Fashion really needs to shift, for sure. That bums me out. I want to feel sexier, more out there, more colorful and fun. Where are the clothes for post-maternity? Let’s keep talking about this and breaking it down into specific things and ways we can grow as a community of mamas…

  38. Jaime says:

    Great points….thanks for sharing your thoughts

  39. […] The world needs the transformation motherhood brings about it us. The softening, the tenderness, the vulnerability, the shift in prioritization, the depth of love — these are some of the qualities our hurting world needs most. – Beth Berry […]

  40. Jami Bailey says:

    Yes!!!!

  41. […] An interesting commentary that looks at the moral outrage and sometimes criminal charges brought on parents who leave children unsupervised…“It’s not that risks to children have increased, provoking an increase in moral outrage when children are left unattended. Instead, it could be that moral attitudes toward parenting have changed, such that leaving children unsupervised is now judged morally wrong. And because it’s judged morally wrong, people overestimate the risk.”DEAR MOTHERS: WE’RE NOT MEANT TO “BOUNCE BACK” | revolutionfromhome.com […]

  42. Mary says:

    Your article is so beautiful, so true. Look at ideals of beauty through history. In order for the beauty of the feminine to work via motherhood, a trustwothy husband is needed. Making the right choice there is essential for financial and emotional vulnerability, and harder to find than ever.

  43. Ania says:

    I am not alone…that feels great! Thank you…

  44. […] The world needs the transformation motherhood brings about it us. The softening, the tenderness, the vulnerability, the shift in prioritization, the depth of love — these are some of the qualities our hurting world needs most. – Beth Berry […]

  45. Bonnie says:

    That was F-ing Awesome! So well said. Thank you! It should be on a billboard in every city.

  46. June Ledner says:

    I am 59 years old and have 3 beautiful, grown children. I have always had a strong sense of self and power. Outside sources have not really had strong influences on who I perceive myself to be. My family’s and my own emotional, physical, and medical health have always, from day one, been of utmost importance to me. I have always been the kind of person who read everything on a subject, and did as much research on it as I could, before making an intelligent decision. This drive and determination to learn as much as possible has always been with me from my early years through young motherhood and now into my more mature age. It was inherited from a strong determined, loving mother and father and a loving and supportive extended family.
    The self loathing, insecure women you refer to in your article are just looking for validation, and probably have grown up and sadly become mothers with very low self esteem. How sad for them that they look to the outside world for that love that may have been denied to them growing up or in current relationships.
    I feel that finding inner peace and self confidence comes from a lifetime of being loved and supported emotionally.
    There’s a lot of work these women will need to do to fight “Madison Avenue” if that’s all they have on their bag to start.
    Luckily there’s many support groups and individual counseling that women can seek out and take advantage of to help them find their inner beauty and strength.
    My personal thoughts on motherhood is that is the best thing that I ever did and continue to do. My body is beautiful because I see myself that way, not because someone or some company decides it is or tells me it is.
    Keep on loving your children and staying involved and being supportive!
    June Ledner

  47. Love it. Love it all. Love you. Your fierce self caring. Female consciousness. Sacred Femality.
    An honor to cross your writing path.

  48. Susan V says:

    This is a fantastic blog post! I am now a grandmother of several and still feel the same pressures even now. Thank you for your insight!

  49. Patty says:

    Thank you. I really needed to hear this and it means a great deal. It seems harder for women to age gracefully in our society, and to keep a sense of self worth. Your article is inspiring!

  50. […] We’re not meant to “bounce back” after babies. Not physically, not emotionally, and definitely not spiritually. We’re meant to step forward into more awakened, more attuned, and more powerful versions of ourselves. Motherhood is a sacred, beautiful, honorable evolution, not the shameful shift into a lesser-than state of being that our society makes it seem. Zitat: Dear Mothers: We’re Not Meant to “Bounce Back” […]

  51. Mary says:

    Great article. As a mother of 5 and now grandmother of 5, I give you a big high five (five little grandsons, love to high five) for your messages. I am also the creator of a healing arts practice that promotes and empowers (mostly women) to live true to our hearts and souls. I am forever still learning to love and accept my body..in all it’s changes and glorious life giving ways!

  52. Christy says:

    Thank you for this. So helpful and inspiring. Beautifully written. Get this awesome piece out to the masses! Maybe it is. I don’t know. All I know is the world needs it.

  53. Sigi says:

    Dear Beth,
    found this and… feeling deeply touched. By Every.Single.Word.
    Want to give this to every woman I know and like.
    Just thank you. So much.
    S.

  54. I love your article! Thank you for all those beautiful words!

  55. Sara says:

    Wow. This was probably the most mentally embracing post I have read yet. I felt myself open up a little more and smile at the thought of my stomach as it is now, my jiggly thighs, and those ever child bearing hips each of myself and sisters have inherited from our mother,and grandmothers. I feel a little more “umph” of empowerment about the fact of how much I enjoy being a mother. Makes me want to start searching for Mommie and ofcourse the little one groups in my area here

  56. Stunning, important piece. Sharing with my tribe @zerotofivebook.

  57. Miranda Benetti says:

    Thank you so much for this beautiful, inspiring article. <3

  58. Ivonne says:

    Your writing really moved me. My name is Ivonne, daughter of a single mom in Costa Rica, and now raising my daughter as a divorced mom in Los Angeles. I will really love to connect with you, as I have been working on a Mom Photo Essay called “Observations of daily life ” for a while… And the content I got from all these moms I photographed is precious. But I am a photographer and writing is just not my thing.
    I’ve been contemplating the idea to do something with my images and the information I got from my short interviews to the moms I photographed.
    But life is busy and I just haven’t take the time. But reading your article just put tears of joy and felt totally connected to every single word you said.

    Feel free to contact me if you’d like to connect.

    Thank you for your honest, beautiful, motivating writing!

    Ps. If you’d like to take a peek to my project go to my blog on my website and look for “Observations of daily life”

    Love,

    Ivonne M

  59. Amy Cormode says:

    Love the new site, Beth! Well done.

  60. Beautiful article, Beth. We met briefly in the summer of 2015 in a tea shop in Asheville. I was with my husband, Matt Nelson and my son, Eliot — we were traveling around the country, teaching workshops in Embodied Ecology, and searching for Home. We landed in Boise, ID in October, and have been digging in here, ever since. I am just transitioning my practice as a Nutritional Therapist to working with women in their times of sacred transition — especially around nourishing themselves for fertility, pregnancy, and learning to nourish their babes beyond breastfeeding. It’s such a powerful time for we women, and I love supporting and guiding others into and through these transitions, encouraging radical authenticity and fierce self-compassion. I intend to bookmark this post and pass it along to many women. Thank you for your work and gifts to the world! Be well. ~Kendy

  61. Melissa says:

    The universe must have aligned me to your writing on this day and time when I was most vulnerable and in need of clarity. The transition into motherhood has been so challenging for me and when reading this, I was instantly awakened. Thank you for this Beth, you have me feeling like I’m not crazy and that I’m not alone.

  62. Megan says:

    Beautiful words. So incredibly accurate and genuine. Thank you.

  63. Deborah fenley says:

    I Love this article I will support you any way I can. I am no longer a young mother dealing with the issues you talk about, but I remember well, i am now the grandmother embrassing her gray hair aging skin let’s be honest real and ourselfs.

  64. Irene Bird says:

    Dear Beth, I am in my early 60s and I have 5 beautiful children who were all breastfeed. I brought my first 4 children up on my own as the marriage dissolved after 8 years. I had the 5th child in a second relationship. I also brought him together with the others up on my own. The only strength I had that kept me going was Spiritual. Therefore l have to disagree with your statement “definitely not spiritually” Even now, spirituality is the only thing that keeps me going when times are tough. As for the rest of your message, I never had the time to think about my looks or what people thought. I was too busy working and bringing my children up. Only now that they have all grown up, I have time for myself. Everything I ever had and now have, I have God to thank for everthing. The good the bad and the ugly parts in my life as it has ALL made me a stronger more independent person.
    As for asking for help for anything, that, is the last option. If I cannot do it (whatever it is)than I will ask for help. To do otherwise is not empowering in my eyes, it is needy. We came here to empower ourselves, to know how strong or weak we are. We then learn to strengthen our weaknesses.
    I do not colour my hair or wear makeup as all that is simply unnecessary and superficial. I do like to dress well for myself. Most things I do now are for myself foremost as I have given most of my life to my children, now, it is about me. Not in a selfish way as my children are still around.???? However, it is now me time and I still love my children being around and I too love being around them without enmeshing in each others lifes. Irene

  65. Yes, yes, yes.????As I sit in the last trimester of my 4th pregnancy, your words resonate so deeply with me and remind me of the truths so easily forgotten when we focus on the wrong “ideals”. Thank you for bringing these words to light. Bless you, lady.✨

  66. Grace says:

    Beth- this is beautiful. While you can’t capture everything for all mothers I want to be a voice for some that may feel a bit excluded from the “mother” definition here. Not all women give birth to their children – but still feel the same feelings of needing to be something that is not in harmony with the vulnerability that comes with age and womanhood. This vulnerability is not always ushered into ones life through having children.

    As a woman who who has the loving markings in & on her body by the children she loved and lost but with no living proof of the mother that she is- I’m acutely aware of the values placed on women in our society of what a women “should” be and achieve. Yet- the place I felt the most alienation from my discovered vulnerability was amongst most women who had no way of truely accepting me to be what I was.

    My story of finding myself alone to birth my son who had died was one of the single most empowering and loneliest experiences of my life. Thinking on how the vestiges of motherhood in “good” circumstances are rejected as you so eloquently write about – can you imagine the rejection so many women experience when the don’t “achieve” the perfect image of motherhood? It is often treated with such aversion & fear that it’s often not considered. The wish of inclusive femininity -that acknowledges all the struggles and losses that comes with motherhood as an aspect of womanhood- is my hope.

  67. […] Dear Mothers: We’re Not Meant to “Bounce Back” […]

  68. Lathalia says:

    I love your encouragement and strength, thank you! May I ask you to speak of what you may know of your women friends who are not mothers, their journeys? I have been so blessed by women who have not become mothers, they are often judged by those who have as not having been fully women, I disagree with all my self on that, vulnerability and strength are grown in all kinds of lives.

  69. […] would like to develop a healthier way to feel confident about the work that I do. I recently read a blog post  by a woman who offered, what I found to be, profound insight about the role of mothering in our […]

  70. […] An interesting commentary that looks at the moral outrage and sometimes criminal charges brought on parents who leave children unsupervised…“It’s not that risks to children have increased, provoking an increase in moral outrage when children are left unattended. Instead, it could be that moral attitudes toward parenting have changed, such that leaving children unsupervised is now judged morally wrong. And because it’s judged morally wrong, people overestimate the risk.” DEAR MOTHERS: WE’RE NOT MEANT TO “BOUNCE BACK” | revolutionfromhome.com […]

  71. Shona says:

    one of the best written articles about feminism and mother hood ive read in a very long time. thank you, I needed this. im crying tears, you know, the visceral kind, I can feel your words as truth in my body. thank you.

  72. Leslie says:

    Beautiful article. This is what “feminism” should have been about, exalting the feminine/yin, not encouraging women to embrace masculine/yang values. I am impressed by the fact that the concept of vulnerability is re-emerging (in a “popular” way through Brene Brown’s work) in western society but no one is linking it to the fact that it is because feminine/yin aspects have been erased by all of humanity, not just men. You put it beautifully. Thank you!

  73. Michelle says:

    My God well said. I stand completely behind everything you have said and I love that I have come across you.

  74. Tracy Saikkonen says:

    Beyond a shadow of doubt, one of the best articles that I have ever read. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I gave birth to twin daughters 23 years ago and I suffered with plenty of self loathing over the stretch marks that run from “top to tail”. My body never bounced back but ran more to the “mud slide” type of action where all the soft and stretched out parts just shifted downwards. I clearly remember laying in the bath tub and looking at my body in revulsion, thinking that I had been destroyed beyond repair. I wish I had read this then. I needed someone to tell me that bouncing back does not happen for most of us and that it was okay. I was more than a little vain pre-kids and becoming a mother changed how I felt about my body and myself. I wish I could have a do over of that time period knowing what I know now. Age and experience has changed my self loathing to acceptance but your article will help me to more thoroughly celebrate the fact that at 53 I have chosen to not dye my hair, that the makeup I do wear is minimal and that this body houses an indominable spirit and strong, loving woman. The world needs a reminder that women at all stages of their life are to be cherished, protected and celebrated.

  75. […] read an article titled Dear Mothers: We’re Not Meant to “Bounce Back” by Beth Berry. “With so many advantages to ‘bouncing back’ as quickly as possible, why on […]

  76. Chelsea Thiessen says:

    An amazing article
    Thank you

  77. […] Berry, a mum, writer, and life coach wrote this lovely letter to all women on why mums are not meant to “bounce back.” She explains, “But no matter how fit […]

  78. […] and dishonors the incredible transformation that occurs when we become mothers. I wrote a whole post about […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

love notes

work with me

blog

contact

Book

@2022 - Revolution from Home. All Rights Reserved. Site Credit: Karima Creative

STAY CONNECTED

motherworthy

about