Our house has been under construction since September. That’s eight months of concrete dust, hammer-to-chisel chinks in time with the second hand and sweaty construction crew in and out of my home while I work. It’s been slow, it’s been messy, it’s been hard to concentrate and…it’s been totally awesome.
Last week, despite diligent efforts to keep overtly negative and insensitive people out of my experience, one slipped through and made her mark in the form of a fear-mongering rant on my Facebook feed — about how Mexicans should go back to their country. About how Mexican-Americans should all be made to learn English. About how the borders should be tightened and healthcare restricted and laws buttoned up to keep “their kind” from taking “our jobs.”
After I calmed myself a bit, then blocked this particular “friend” from my feed (better that Facebook filter such filth than have to process it myself), it occurred to me that there are many people in my home country who have no frame of reference whatsoever from which to imagine Mexico or Mexicans aside from the nightly news, ignorant immigration indoctrination and of course, a story they once heard from their uncle’s girlfriend’s boss whose car was stolen and found south of the border reeking of weed and stripped of its stereo.
Truth is, even some of my well-educated and non-bigoted friends and family have a hard time imagining why we want to live somewhere so dangerous, drug-ridden and parasite-plagued.
Not only are most of these perspectives unfair and unfounded (okay, so we have had our fair share of parasites) but they give a wholly inaccurate picture of the vast majority of this culturally-rich, family-centered and laid-back country and detract from the reality that Mexico presents much less to fear than to learn from.
Before I offer my own perspective, allow me to introduce the crew…
The guys on break + Estella, playing hackie sack toss while singing.
Far from decapitators or drug lords — in fact, as nice a group of guys as you’ll ever meet — they spend their weekdays here in Tulum and return to their village and families every weekend.
Not only are they talented, helpful, kind, funny and good natured, but they’ve grown quite fond of my kids and fostered a relationship with them well beyond the perfunctory hired-help-in-the-house congeniality you might expect.
A few examples:
Every day, as I come and go — requiring that the dogs be corralled, the gate be opened and then closed again behind me — at least one of them stops whatever he’s doing, runs over to assist me and watches for passersby as I back out.
And every day when the girls come home from school, they’re met by waves and grins and hair tousles, then invited for a ten-minute ballgame or craft session or lesson in masonry or Maya.
{Remember these seeds?}
Just a few of the creations my kids have made with the crew during their daily siestas.
And though they certainly don’t have to harvest coconuts for me, to sweep the patio, to patch my broken car window, to clean the pool, to wipe up their chalky footprints from my floor or to play the guitar while my kids sing songs, they do, and truly seem to see past the obvious socio-economic divide that would make many people leery or resentful.
Perhaps my favorite times are when Estella and her 20-something-year-old friend swap words in Spanish (a second language for both of them), then double over in laughter at the strange sounds.
“Como se dice ‘rana’?”
“Frog.”
“FROG?” En serio? FROG?” Hahaahahaha!!”
“Y en Maya?”
“Much.”
“MUCH?” No me digas!!!!!!”
Their laughter is contagious, heartfelt and loud.
So, without further adieu, in honor of The Crew and inspired by three years living among Mexicans, I offer:
A Picture of Mexico You Won’t See On The Nightly News
— which could also be titled —
8 Things the US Could Stand to Learn From Its Southern Neighbors
1. Resourcefulness – I have never seen so many items cleverly repurposed or materials put to good use as I have in Mexico. Coming from a throw-away-and-buy-it-again happy nation, it’s both refreshing and inspiring to see so many examples of making do on less and repairing rather than re-buying.
Mallet carved then fastened with a piece of an old flip flop.
Cement-mixing attachment for hand drill, bent from rebar.
2. Family values – Not necessarily making lots of money for the family, nor buying lots of things for the family, nor keeping up with what would make the family look good, but sharing simple pleasures, celebrating even small things and prioritizing time together truly seem to be the foundation of this country.
Most every establishment here is not only “family friendly” but family-accommodating, as was the case at this Tulum restaurant. Generally, when people see you coming with kids they are EXTRA welcoming.
3. The value of rest — On countless occasion I have come home to all three guys asleep in the shade. They do not jump up (except to open the gate for me), they do not act guilty for taking a mid-day siesta and they do not pretend to be working extra hard after being “caught.” They work their tails off, are good at what they do, take time for daily rest and do so without apology. How un-American. How very healthy.
4. Patience – Though the concept of “mañana,” (meaning sometime in the near or distant future) is notoriously obnoxious to efficiency-driven gringos (and admittedly maddening on occasion), I find the unhurried pace in general to be better for my health, easier for raising a family and conducive to a balanced lifestyle.
While much of the slow pace here is circumstantial (cars are expensive), the fact that half the town rides bikes or walks certainly adds to the easy-going vibe.
5. Presence — I’ve yet to meet a Mexican who fretted over tomorrow half as much as we do, and everywhere you look, you see folks perfectly content just being. The majority of people I know from the states feel guilty being still for very long, would more likely refer to “just being” as “doing nothing” and tend to associate downtime with laziness.
Whereas the majority of the tourists here head for the lounge chairs and piña coladas, most of the locals pack a picnic, pack their truck beds and beach it for pesos on the dollar.
6. Culture beyond consumption — The richness of Mexican culture is still largely untouched by commercial influence (though this is changing) and is centered around family, tradition, community, food and folk art. Holidays are abundant and eclectic, bring communities together and are considered legitimate excuses for closing shop for days on end (as opposed to opening shop after hours to offer good sales).
7. Practical skills and trades — Whereas skilled labor in the US is decreasingly encouraged among young people and increasingly outsourced, mechanized or of course, done by skilled immigrants, the majority of people here know one or many practical trades. Whether tile work, carpentry, mechanics, embroidery, pottery, weaving or chicle harvesting, this is a country of craftsmen, artisans, farmers and laborers and it shows in the prevalence of handmade goods, local food and family-owned businesses.
Our nearly-finished porch. The guys extended the patio, mixed all the cement by hand, poured the concrete columns, carved the hardwood beams with a chain saw and laid the tile with precision and basic tools. Oh, and you wouldn’t believe how much of it was done with a machete.
8. Local living — Free of so many of the legalities that stand between US entrepreneurs and potential patrons or cliental, essentially anyone can set up shop and sell their goods here, making for rich local living, affordable products and services and street life that draws people together.
My favorite neighborhood mercado.
Our sugarcane stop on the way home from school. The press is mounted to a VW bug, turned to squeeze juice from cane, then the delicious, nutritious sweetness is mixed with other fresh juices of our choice. (Cane/grapefruit/lime/mint is my personal favorite.) Can’t imagine this concept would fly in the states. Hardly steril, unregulated and unpasteurized, the risk of lawsuit would be too great. Is the protection we receive from such laws worth the sacrifice of local culture and small businesses?
What intrigues me most is that these characteristics are sought after in the US (what thoughtful person isn’t trying to live slower, be more present and resourceful, shop locally, support artisans and find more time for family?) and yet fear divides neighbors — both across the street and across the border — who might otherwise have much to offer one another.
Clearly, Mexico (just like every other country) isn’t without its challenges, immigration is a tricky matter from whichever side you stand and at the end of the day, haters will be haters, but at the very least, I’ll now sleep a little better having added a counter voice to the fear-mongers on Facebook and a flip side to the five o’clock news.
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Yes. That is the Mexico I know and love and admire and miss when I’m not there. Lately I’ve been struggling with the fearmongering, feeling it take a toll on my feelings about Mexico. My husband and children are all Mexican citizens and we have lots of extended family there. We’ve been planning our annual trip back and I am so excited. Thanks for reminding me of all the good there is in Mexico.
My family has the great fortune to have a friend who lived in Hidalgo and now in Mexico City. We vistied him and his family and were treated as if we WERE family. We were not in a tourist area, but encountered Mexican people in their normal, everyday lives. We were treated with the greatest kindness, consideration and warmth. I loved the country. I also see families from Mexico here in the US, making their way, raising their chldren, and adding to our nation. I love Mexico.
Yes, yes, yes!!! This is EXACTLY how I feel about Mexico and exactly what most Mexicans are like. They are so warm and giving, genuinely interested in you as a person. We could learn so much from these kind people. I wish everyone in the U.S. could read these words and see these pictures. Thank you!
Although I have never been to Mexico, I had the honor of working on the racetrack for years with many, many immigrant Mexicans and fell in love with the same things you talk about in this article. They were generous, appreciated the finer things in life, were resourceful, and never failed to make me feel like I had family as a young twenty something away from her New England family for the first time. They cooked the most wonderful food from scratch and never hesitated to share it and we’re generous in attempting to help me learn their language with some success. Although i have forgotten it all now! The siesta they enjoyed became a favorite habit for me as well in the hot Florida afternoons and I miss it now that I am back in busy, busy east coast. The dialouge that exists in America on the immigration issue is scary and exclusive and makes me worry at night who we are becoming as a nation. Thank you for the wonderful look from your perspective. I hope to someday be able to afford to visit. And reading you blog surely makes me want to move!
Thank you for this! I love your writing and beautiful thoughts 🙂
As a person who lives in Florida, I have to wonder what are the reasons Mexicans leave Mexico as wonderful as you make it seem, and secondly why are they not just as warm and friendly when they are here (that has been my experience anyway and I’ve never heard any locals say any different). I understand they may be mistreated by some, but if they are genuinely friendly that can’t just go right out of them. And perhaps America instantly gets its claws into them. I feel alienated from this group of people I am surrounded by…perhaps it’s because I’m a French major and only a Spanish minor? 😀
Holly, if you don’t mind, I’d like to answer your question (or offer my perspective) in a post of its own and then open it up to further discussion. You’ve sparked a great idea that I am excited to pursue!
Great! I was hoping you’d say that 😉 I look forward to it!
Hi!
First of all as mexican I really appreciate your article and all kind of words that you have for us. I like to reply to Holly because she is not sure about mexican kidness :).
We are indeed a very noble population, but we are also a very sensitive one. That means that we know when we are not accepted and/or discriminated. Probably for our history, my people always answer when they feel anything less than kindness.
However like in every country there are any kind of people, good or bad. Isn’t that normal? I have been living in the US for more that 4 years, but I’m well educated and I’m not like the average immigrant. I have notice that some immigrants are very resentful not only with americans but with…believe it or not..MEXICANS too. I’m very proud of being a Mexican and every time that I saw someone with obviously Mexican background I tend to feel excited and speak them in spanish and you will be amaze how they replied to you in a very rude matter, and they said now that they are from Spain, no kidding it happen to me a million times. This is because probably they are second generation and their parents told them that in this country is not a good thing to be a Mexican. When I move here I realize that something happen when they cross and they are abused by many americans, is that they learn no never trust a “white” people.
like every minority that has been discriminated you will find a group that are not as open hearted as they use to be
But if you ever go to Mexico you will understand the kindness of the people that live there, and is described in this article. A kindness that by the way I never find in France, where if you don’t speak french no one will help you. If this happen in Mexico you will find surrounded by people trying to understand and help you.
Exactly! I am a Guatemalan Living in Mexico I also Lived in California for 15 years. I go back and forth from and to Guatemala, U.S. and Mexico But I would Never trade the place I live in! MERIDA MEXICO BABY!
Now I can tell you to that Living in The states, US warm noble Brown people cannot be to nice to everyone since most people in the states are nothing but Nationalistic, Consumer, Patriot A %$^%les! lol Not all of them tho but mostly the NICE AMERICANS are not living in the U.S. They are living in MEXICO.
Great post, I really enjoy your perspective as someone living there for a while. As an immigrant in the US, I’m weary of the way ethnic minorities and foreigners are often villified here. I’m from Eastern Europe, so nowhere near Mexico, and really appreciate you not only pointing to the problematic portrayal of minority groups in the US but also offer a counter perspective based in first-hand experience. Thank you!
Please keep writing about life in Mexico and your surroundings there, it’s fascinating to read!
Ah, yes. This is the Mexico I know and love. The ability to recycle and create beauty and useful objects from what we in the USA would throw away always amazes me. And the joy Mexicans seem to find even in the most poor (by our standards) is inspiring. Well said, Beth, and needed. Thank you.
Mexicans, Blacks, Asians, Muslims, Same Sex Couples,…if people are looking to hate they will find a target!
Couldn’t agree more! Life is similar here in Jamaica but instead of “tomorrow” we have “soon come”. Thank you for sharing!!
My blood has boiled on many occasion because of the mis-judgement, entitled attitude of some Americans in regards to immigrants and particularly Mexicans. Lest we forget that we are citizens of this world and that borders are only imagined/man-made… Glad to read your thoughts. I would imagine so:) Que dios se bendiga.
Well said. You reflect my Mexican experience both in and MX and the US. Neither selfish ambition nor beauty are biased by culture.
Thank you for your studied view from there.
Beth, Thanks for saying it so well. The pictures said it all for me, especially the last one. This was what we were talking about last night. How so many in the states seem so angry and a good time for a day off is a day at the mall. I am sending this to all my family so you can say it for me. Keep up the stories as it keeps my heart close to the Mexico I so love. Barbara
On on drive from San Pedro La Laguna, Guatemala to San Cristobal de Las Casas – from my car window I enjoyed observing Latin American life:
1. An indigenous teenage girl, dressed in her traditional corte and huipile, sitting on the wooden bench on her front porch – texting on her cell phone.
2. A truck stopped in the middle of the international highway lane (because Guatemala can’t afford to widen the highway enough for a dirt or paved shoulder) – approaching the disabled vehicle are large rocks and shrub branches in the road to warn approaching traffic. The vehicle driver was under the front end of the truck working on fixing a leaking hose. No AAA – no flares, no cones in the road – just a guy fixing the broken truck where it came to rest.
3. The roadside fruit/vegetable/cloth/etc. stands run by truly local/truly small business.
4. Tied out horses, pigs, cows, goats, sheep – grazing alongside the highway.
5. Women doing laundry at the community pila and drying their clothing on rocks and fences.
6. Being stopped at a military check point and answering questions of the young officer inquiring about California’s marijuana laws (our van has California plates).
7. Buying some fresh pinapple empanadas from a young man at the gas station.
After 30 years of worklife in the states, and no time to enjoy and reflect; I have been learning to live life by observing and interacting with my Latin American friends and neighbors. Viva la Mexico y Guatemala!
P.S. After 4 years in Mexico & Guatemala, I have yet to have an unpleasant encounter with a local. I wish I could say the same about my encounters with US and Canadians.
In 2003, my wife and I and our five children moved to Oaxaca, Mexico. We got renters for our home in Bountiful and rented a home in Oaxaca. We had no car, but soon purchased a mountain bike, which my wife and I used for Friday night dates to downtown Oaxaca. On our dates, we stopped and ate at a makeshift “restaurant” on the street. The food was great and we remained healthy.
Weekly family outings to archaeological and other sites of interest were by public transport. Monte Alban, El Tule, Teotitlan del valle, and Mitla, were a few of our favorites.
Laundry was done by the man of the house (me) between teaching online classes for a little income. I was so glad when we purchased a laundry machine.
Our five children, ages sixth grade (at the time) to our nearly three year old, enjoyed our great adventure. We enrolled three of our children in a public (not private) Mexican school and one daughter in a kindergarten school that was located adjacent to the “elementary” (Primary) school. Our landlord’s sister and wonderful/loving person, helped my wife find the store where we purchased school uniforms.
Oaxaca is located a six hour bus ride south east of Mexico City. Far from the dangers on the border towns, our neighbors were all very helpful, friendly, and wonderful people to get to know and learn from.
One day a week I rode our bike near downtown to teach an English class we held in the office space of the sister of a neighbor who is a doctor.
Next year, we are returning to Oaxaca with a non-profit, Reach Out And Learn, to have humanitarian conferences with professionals and to have interactive activities with school children in small villages.
I can wait to return to wonderful Mexico.
I can not love this enough!
This is another lovely, mind-opening post. And because so many have already acknowledged the loveliness of your words, all I am left to say is how delighted and surprised I am to see that you have a heart-shaped pool!
Left Germany 20 years ago to build my life, family and friends here… never regret it, would do it all over again. Bad stories written about Mexico are from haters trapped in their little life and mind… thanks for that nice statement
Absolutely marvellous article, and I agree with everything in it, that is why I am still here after ten years.
The locals, the customs, the beach and the sea and the enormous family values…. Thanks, I will definitely share…Julia
THANK YOU for taking the time to say all the things I haven’t on my blog. Beautifully written and oh so true. My 12 years here have been some of the best of my life.
I’ve learned more from the Mexican people. They have enriched my life immeasurably.
Wonderful blog post and so true! Thank you!
You have expressed beautifully, everything I think and feel about Mexico, specifically Isla Mujeres. I could never have done such a beautiful job as this. Thank you so much and I hope you do not mind, but I am sharing this with as many people as I know…
Beautifully written blog post!!! Thank you for your description of the Mexico I know and love!
Saw a link to this article on Facebook, posted by Yolisto (www.yolisto.com) a website of expatriates living in Yucatan, Mexico, and I thought I would give my 2 cents to this story.
It’s one thing to see (and hear) the news coming from Mexico regarding drug cartels and the thousands of dead people because of the same and/or go to the beaches of Cancun and Playa del Carmen (to name a few) and stay in the posh hotels and beaches and another thing to live in Mexico amongst its people, doing the same things Mexicans do and experiencing life as it should be experienced in a country other than the United States of America. I know of some of the expats who reside in my hometown of Merida, Yucatan, Mexico and for the most part their experiences are similar to the author of this article and they swear they are extremely happy and many would not think of coming back to their countries of origin except on vacation.
The trouble is that stories such as this do not make it to the nightly news nor are widely publicized so people only get to see/hear the negatives of a country and never the positives, but when people through the social sites decide to spread it, more people get to see it and the positives get to a greater audience and that only could be good for Mexico and what my own country really represents.
In the author’s case (who apparently lives in Tulum) most people go there and get to see the ruins and the “vacation” side of the place, but never get to experience the “real life” of the city nor share the experiences only the local people can share with others.
Granted, most people go to Mexico on vacation and as such the purpose is to “enjoy life” and enjoying life does not necessarily mean doing the many things the author of this article does, but only staying at the resorts, sipping margaritas and the like, but if more people would take some of their vacation time and get out of the resorts and go into the nearby towns and mix the locals, they probably could get a small taste of what Mexico is all about.
Thanks! Well done!
Makes me miss my family in D.F. and Oaxaca. I married into a wonderful Mexican family. Our time there is much as you describe it though Mexico City can often run at the pace of other large cities. I have experienced many of the things you describe and look forward to every minute I get to spend there. Thank you for writing this. I hope all who see it realize there is much more to Mexico, much of it missed in the all inclusive resorts or the nightly news north of the border.
I have not been to Mexico, but you make me want to. Lovely and eye-opening. Thank you.
Thank you, your love for our Country shows all the way…
Gracias!!!, en tus textos y fotografías se observa tu amor por nuestro México, recibe un abrazo cariñoso !!!!!
YES! You nailed it! We live in San Miguel de Allende and I’ve found all of what you mentioned, even in a larger “city” with lots of expats living here. The Mexicans I’ve met here are the nicest, most hardworking and sweet people on the planet. Kudos for writing such a great piece.
This post accurately reflects the Mexico I know. When I hear it described in the news media in the US and Canada, I always think “What country is that? It’s not the Mexico I know.” I hate to generalize too, but my experience is: wonderful country, great people.
I love Mexico we have made over 20 trips to Mexico. The people are always warm and friendly, we worry less about safety while in mexico than we do when we go to Austin or San Antonio. We hate that all inclusive resorts are becoming more prevalent through out Mexico. We enjoy going to the Mercado’s to shop or visit a local restaurants for lunch or just window shopping walks along the marina and a night on the town. When we went to Mazatlan a year ago people warned us about how dangerous Mexico is my response was do you know how dangerous it is to live in America.
Loved what you shared! That is one thing I love about Mexico – is how precious families are and how little “things” really mean to them – they focus on what is really important in life and I always feel so fortunate to catch those glimpses when I am on vacation in Mexico. I am hoping someday to spend more time in Mexico to enjoy exactly those moments that you speak of. Gracias! 🙂
this is so heartwarming. fills me with joy and admiration, and such sadness all at once. thank you beth for speaking the truth to such a wonderful people.
Thanks for this great article Beth. Holly raises a point about expatriate Mexicans in Florida. Her points could also refer to Cuban expatriates in Florida because Havana is full of really friendly nice people. I asked a Mexican friend about the difference in attitudes and she said they simply yearn for their country.
gorgeous post! i love to see pictures and learn about life there. so much right thinking and living!
Great article Beth. My husband & I renovated a home in Colonia La Gloria, Isla Mujeres, and also developed a kind and caring relationship with the men who worked on the project with us. I now organize ‘We Move Forward’ an International Women’s Day conference on Isla Mujeres (The Island of Women), and the women that attend always comment on how safe they feel wandering the streets of Isla both day & night, and leave and return to Isla because of their growing appreciation for all that Mexico has to offer, which you have described so well here. Muchas gracias Beth, I hope we get to meet some day soon.
As a US citizen and resident of Isla Mujeres, Mexico, I LOVE this!
This is the best, most incredible, wonderful, beautiful thing I’ve read in ages. Thank you so so much for writing about my country in such a loving, powerful way. Sending love and gratitude your way!
Fantastic story. I love it!
It is so refreshing to read all these positive comments regarding life in Mexico. So true, that many extranjeros only see Mexico from gated “Sun & Sand” Americanized resorts. More articles like this one are what is necessary to really introduce foreigners to the real beauty of Mexico; its people, traditions, and easy-going life-style. For part of each year, I live and work in Veracruz and so I too can relate to and agree with the observations of many who have responded. Thanks Beth for “stepping up” and telling it like it really is here in Mexico.
We too live in Mexico from Canada. We live in LaPenita just north of PV. I have had many Mexican friends in the last 6 years we have been here. I feel more at home here then I ever did at home. It is interesting how money is a priority at home, (don’t get me wrong I was no different at home) but here family is number one. We have built a few houses here and are in the process of building our “forever home”. We have had the same crew 3 times. We know their families and they know us. I wish I would have had the opportunity to live down here when my children were younger. Living here would have made them better people. I have some Mexican friends who did spend many years in the US and Canada. They have moved back with their families because they wanted to instill family values and decided that this was more important then earning money. Their children are teenagers now and I have never met better people. It is interesting how I see many of the Xpats trying to bring the communities up to the US and CDN standards. I keep telling them don’t, what we have and where we are is perfect. We are not exactly perfect back home so maybe we should let small town Mexico move at its own pace. Oh well, I am sure they won’t listen…. You are correct, other countries could learn a lot from the Mexican people I know I have.
Just found this and wanted so much to post it to my facebook wall. However, no matter how I try, it will NOT go!! Such a great article, wish I could share it!!
I have since found you on facebook and shared this! Thanks for writing it.
Thanks for sharing the positive 🙂 I have fond memories of doing ecological studies at Lake Chapala in Jalisco. I loved walking down cobblestone streets while kids played soccer, meeting friends in the plaza, visiting old churches, seeing big extended families relaxing together.
I always think of that Mexican fisherman story and how happiness can be found when we live simply.
As a Canadian who lives half the year in San Miguel de Allende – actually, outside of SMA backing up to the mountain – where our son and his family settled in 2001, I have experienced first hand the warmth and goodness of the Mexican people. We have our own adobe casita, built by our maestro who lives in the village below us, all constructed by hand, just as Beth describes, hand-mixed cement, adobe walls, stone foundations, gentle people, sun-warmed, peaceful. The city is close and very busy, but rich with life fully lived by the locals and enjoyed by the expats. Good people come to live here, from the US and Canada and work hard to support the Mexicans – a hand up, not a hand out. It is a beautiful country and I am grateful for the way the people have welcomed our family into their hearts. Thanks for writing this, Beth, and thanks to all you good people who have shared your experiences. Abrazos a todos!
I won’t know much about Mexico (I live in Australia) but it sounds like a wonderful place to be raising a family. My children are young and I would love for them to live in such a rich culture. You certainly have my cogs turning
It was no where close to a sad blog but I cried, happy tears. Oh by the way I love the pool. I would love one just like that someday!
Love this beautiful tribute… I grew up in Southern Arizona, less than an hour from the Mexican border. I still have an intense love for the people and traditions of Mexico and it pains me to hear the ignorance and prejudice spouted from “educated” people (I now reside in central California). I have long dreamed of moving to a beach town “south of the border” and I’m so glad that I came across your blog and have the opportunity to experience my dream through your eyes. Thank you and many blessings!
Thanks for adding one more voice on the good side. Readers may be interested in a “nutshell” version of the differences in core values between the U.S. and Mexico. Credit for the concept goes to Warren Hardy, but the blog entry is mine:
http://warrenhardyspanishwithsusan.com/2013/03/22/two-sets-of-core-values/
Well said and I would agree with you, I don’t know much about the Mexican people but the little I do know they are wonderful folk and I wish I had their life style and the happy language and laughter that you hear..
I just love-love-love your blog!
Great post! It all makes sense to me…makes me want to move there.
I am a Mexican from Tamaulipas, a world apart from Yucatan or Oaxaca and closer in ” way of life” to Houston or any big city, with problems like migration and drugs.
But I belive , too, that We human beings have the right to live anywhere We desire. As long as We respect our neighbors.
Beth, I so admire your ability to communicate thru written word.. . my dear hubby has long loved Mexico, he is a fisherman and travels to SanQuintin frequently. . . he wants to retire there but Ive always been hesitant. .. he says the same things you’ve said about the Mexican people, how warm, loving and happy they seem to be even with very little material wealth. ..you’ve opened my eyes to new possibilities in living there. . thank you!
Beth I just shared this particular post on FB as it really resonated with me. Thanks for your writings. Here is what I put:
I love this blog but this particular post resonated because we get similar negativity toward Dubai/Middle East. My friend Katherine gets it for living in South Africa and Helen in years past for Russia. Sure there can be problems in the places we live but there are problems everywhere. I wish more people could stop watching the nightly news and talk to those who actually live abroad. That’s the real source.
Thank you for writing this – I enjoyed it immensely.
…but reading this is dangerous because now I want to pick up and move 🙂
Love this beautiful post! Thank you so much, Beth!
I choose not to inundate myself with the negativity on the news but am surrounded by fearful people who watch/read the news regularly and take it for complete truth. I find myself affected by their beliefs and start feeling fearful. Like maybe I am the delusional one, even though I have had real life, awesome experiences in Mexico and the extent of their experience is only what comes from the tv or newspaper. Maybe my being affected by that negativity is a sign it’s been too long since I’ve been out of the U.S. 😉 Time to put the passport back to use.
I needed this beautiful reminder. Thanks again.
Wonderfully written view of what is really across that curtain of fear and ignorance called a border. Thank you.
Mexico is dangerous, but no more dangerous and even less so than many major cities in the U.S. In fact I would argue there are far more dangerous neighborhoods in Columbus Ohio than most of Mexico. As Mexico improves economically and the middle class emerges I suspect much of the corruption should improve dramatically especially since people are inherently law abiding citizens. The cartel problem which is regional should also improve once the commercialization of marijuana takes root. I don’t think the violence protrayed in the media will take center stage and the news organizations will have to look outward for violence stories. My friends think I am crazy for vacationing in Mexico. Once I have nice place to live in paradise for a modest amount of money, we will see who is crazy. Thanks for the post David , it inspired me once more.
We live in Puerto Vallarta and agree with EVERYTHING you said, and want to add one more positive about our adopted country. The medical and dental care here is fabulous and inexpensive..the Drs care about you, spend time with you, give you their personal emails and phone numbers, and even make house calls!
Hello Beth,
I Love your article and all the truths behind it. I had the great fortune to live and work in Mexico for 3 years. These I would say, without a doubt, the best years of my life. Having been in the tourism industry most of my working years, brought me the greatest pleasures of knowing wonderful people from all walks of life, from different parts of the world. My heart was always in Mexico. I was drawn to this magical place of simple, abundance of cultural and warm hearted people that only want what the rest of us want in life, love and respect. I lived in Tulum for one year and it would be the place I choose for retirement in the very near future. Thank You for sharing your love and respect for this country that has long been misinterpreted.
Thanks for adding another voice to the chorus.
Ron Stephens, another lover of the Mexico you’re talking about.
San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato, Mexico
That was simply lovely. Thank you for that perspective – and the pictures helped immensely!
Thank you for this beautiful piece! About eight months ago I moved to Pachuca with my two young children to teach at an American school. While I knew beforehand that I was in for change, I had no idea how profoundly living in Mexico would change me–for the better. You are absolutely right. The people I have met have all been amazing, and genuinely kind and helpful. No one gets annoyed at my lack of Spanish and tells me to go back to my own country. No one gets mad at me for taking their job. People go out of their way to be helpful and offer assistance, and because that’s just the way they are. There is no ulterior motive to their kindness.
That was all very inspiring and right on. I am in the process of blogging on wordpress, and was going to share just about everything you had to say and the comments as well. I was quite confused when I moved here that I would so abandoned by friends up North. I thought that they would be happy that I merely followed my bliss to move to Ajijic full time. They mostly stop answering my e-mails about how much better life works for me here.Evidently, the negative stereotypes are THAT deeply ingrained. And I met someone visiting from NYC, and she said virtually everyone she knows, all well educated and work in education disapproved of her decision to vacation here. Too dangerous they all replied.
I couldn’t be happier though after I got over it. I have lived and worked in Mx for quite sometime off and on. I always felt better here, not really knowing the why of it. I use to have panic attacks and anxiety ones as well. I don’t have them anymore. I love all the things mentioned by everyone else on your site. I absolutely adore my Mexican friends. The guy at the corner store (abarrotes) invited me to his daughter’s quince anos. I felt honoured. Only one other ex-pat was in attendence. I took some great photos blew one up to 8×10 and gave it to the family. They were delighted. I too love the resourcefulness of this culture. I watch work men on the street. And they work hard, yet are happy and smiling. Arselia, my house keeper is truly amazing. She organizes my stuff. And I think what a good idea never thought of it myself! I would never call her a maid.She is quite creative. I learn a lot from her as my keeper of the house.We laugh a lot! I make lunch for her, because I enjoy doing it. I could go on with dozens of happy stories. I live on a small fixed income, but feel so good here, I don’t want for anything material. it is all about joyfulness and relationships that are fun and positive. I have always been very visual and why I photograph. With a simple “con permiso”I take pics of smiling people in the plaza. I like street portraiture images.
When my Spanish is more sufficient, I will probably move to a smaller town, and fewer expats. Mainly, because there is so much to explore and learn all the time here in Mx. My wordpress blog was going to be almost identical to yours. Still working up a rough draft first.so glad I came across your blog with photos. Those of us that get it are very fortunate to be here. I have tried to explain to folks up North about Mx enviromental activists such as those oppose to Monsanto and GMO corn, artists, rich culture, classical music concerts, but it seems to fall on deaf ears.They don’t know of courseas many mentioned it is ignored almost entirely by the mass media up North.And Chicanos of 2nd and 3rd generation Mexicans are a distincly different culture. Most are fine people, but have distanced themselves from Mx. for whatever their personal reasons are. I feel it’s none of my business. If they are satisfied with the US fine then.
Yet, I meet many MX here whom worked many years in the US and are very glad to be back in MX. And since they are biligual and bicultural, we have many interesting conversations. Everyday that I go out on the street, i find something of intrigue. i am truly grateful to be here.
Bottom line though, is I couldn’t feel happier. Oh, and someone mention medical. During the Xmas holidays i had a dental appt and the dentista and her assistant both gave me big hugs. Don’t think I ever hugged a dentist before! Everything is blooming here and the weather is divine.
Thank you for a lovely post! You have expressed so many things that we love about Mexico.
My wife and I are retiring to San Miguel de Allende in June to a newly constructed house we bought last year. One of my wife’s and my best friends who happens to be my legal assistant is upset with us and concerned about our safety, actually sent me a link to this page. I think it changed her perspective on our move a bit. I urge anyone who is in Mexico or moving there share this page with friends or relatives who are similarly upset.
We own a home in Mexico at Lake Chapala and fly down for a week at least every other month but live full time in Texas. Our safety and quality of life improves every time we cross the border south. In the six years we have had our vacation home we have had nothing but positive experiences with the local Mexican community. Several times we have left the country with contractors working in or at our home to remodel or landscape or add on and every time the work has been done perfectly, on time & within budget. Maybe we are just lucky but what good luck we’ve had!
I live half the time in Mexico, ,Baja calif. South of Ensenda , I feel a hell of a lot safer there than southern calif. Where each night we are greeted by sirens , helicopters and media blitz on the horrors of Mexico . Most people in the USA are not wel informed on anything other than traffic jams !
I loved reading this. I too am in love with Mexico and it’s people. Ten years ago my husband and I took early retirement, sold our house, moved into a 5th wheel to ‘hit the road’ to tour the good ole USA. We left Washington state and got as far as Arizona. We met some people on their way to cross the border into Mexico. We went with them and fell in love with this wonderful country! Needless to say, we never have gotten to see the USA much. We have spent every winter since near the small fishing village of Bahia de Kino and have fallen in love with the little town and it’s warm and friendly people. I get so upset when I hear of people putting down the country and it’s wonderful inhabitants.
I have been traveling in Mexico for the past 20 years on my motorcycle. I have always met wonderful helpful people in my travels. People offer to have me stay at their homes when I ever come thru again. They offer to buy me breakfast and /or coffee when I stop a Pemex early in the morning. Lately I have found that I would love to live in Mazatlan but just do not have the resources to be able to.
Great job. Yes my people in Mexico are much less money (the root of so many issues) centric and much more family/relationship centric.
PS. 4 kids, have you figured out where they come from yet?
Thanks, loved it!
Aah, Beth, I loved reading this! It also made me smile remembering my amazing holiday in Tulum last year. I am so looking forward to July and hope to see you. I can fully understand why my family are so happy there. I wish people over here would all slow down and have more time for one another.x
I had the great fortune to meet a wonderful friend who was a native of Oaxaca years ago. And I soon found myself visiting Mexico for the first time in 2011. I was warned leaving the United States from my family and friends that I was “crazy” to go there as it was so “dangerous”. I was not worried at all because my Mexican friend assured me that I would be safe and yes, there were parts that were dangerous like Mexico City in some areas, etc. He guided me and I trusted him. I had the best experiences of my life and felt like I had met my family. Everyone treated me like family that I stayed with, everyone was kind, I never felt targeted for being an “American” instead I felt safe, secure, and welcomed. Mexico is a beautiful country. I went back in 2012 and had an even better experience. I thought about living there and haven’t been back in 2 years. I miss it so much. It was a magical place where I felt my soul really had come home.
Ok, first off….let me tell you how my heart yearns to be back in Tulum!
Secondly…Thank You for putting this in words.
I have just returned from Tulum Town/Sian Ka’an jungle living 5 days ago. I stayed for a short 49 day, my longest stay in the last eight years of being a wanna be Mexica….haha I actually have the nickname, The VerMexican, I live in Vermont, when not in Tulum Ha!
If more Americans could just be warped to Mexican living for even a few short months, what a difference it would make in their lives, in their health, physical and mental!
As I sit here plotting my next escape to the Caribe a smile comes across my face thinking of my friends in the Jungle…Dan, Heika, Carlos, Fernando,Michelle,Pepe. I miss you guys!
Hi Beth,
I found you via a facebook post on Mothers & ‘village life’. I loved what you had to say, and I love this article! So interesting and refreshing to hear about this lifestyle.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Lynda
Thank you for sharing! Your words resonate deeply with me. Mexico and its people are SO special. Your story inspires me to make the move.