1. Susan says:

    Interesting post. It’s all about letting go of all expectations, embracing what really is, and getting clear on what we want, huh?

    I recently wrote about whether parenting is intrinsically difficult or if we make it to. You speak about the “lack of tribe” (support) aspect here and I personally believe that is one of the BIGGEST factors in why we have so many challenges.

    But if we don’t change that (whether we live in a “tribe”) the most powerful thing we can do is to let go of expectations and love our kids and each moment as it is.

    Love your blog as always!

  2. Michelle says:

    “keen eye for truth and beauty amidst bullshit and chaos” LOVE this line!!!

    Thanks for another wonderful read!

  3. Leenie says:

    I feel like these words floated right out of my own experience and heart and, no doubt, they have at some point. Every time I see parents of young children and babies and they express their exhaustion and when-will-this-end frustrations over teething, potty training, broken sleep, etc. I want to scream, “Embrace it! You’re living through the golden age of parenting. You’ll blink and find that not only can you no longer fix anything with a cuddle and a kiss, you won’t be able to FIX ANYTHING. Period.” Now that I have two grown and flown (and doing great!) and our two still at home are teens, I have finally given myself a break. It was a long, strange trip (as they say) but when I finally came to the end of myself and all my self-imposed responsibility for EVERYTHING and had the mother of all breakdowns…well, I finally surrendered. Now I accept that we all do the best we can based on the information and resources we have available. Our children are not blank slates and who and how they are is not solely a product of our ministrations and guidance. We’re part of their journey but that’s all. Once I let go of trying orchestrate the highest potential for all, (Sorry, had to break for hysterical laughing fit!) I discovered that all I really needed to do ever was love my children and express it both when they were behaving in a loveable way and, especially, when they were not. Ah, and I had to extend that same healing balm to myself…on the good days and the bad.

  4. Rita says:

    I don’t need to add my own self-limitations because you’ve articulated them all so clearly. I’m not ready to make movement on the 2nd one, but I am so ready to make a change with the 3rd. I appreciate you putting (funny and wise) words to so much of my experience the past two years of mothering my almost-15-year olds (twins). I MISS being the mom I used to be. I have resisted becoming the mother they now need. I know surrender is always the path the joy. Just wish I knew how to do it more easily…

  5. Andrea says:

    I really struggle with #1 and #3. I have a 2yo and a 1yo, and there are a lot of days where I’m thinking, “I’m really not cut out to be a mom.” Thanks for all your great posts.

  6. penny says:

    From the first post that I read of yours last fall, I have finally had the feeling that I am not alone in my pursuit of perfection/ let’s see how crazy I can make myself because it is simply not humanly possible! I have been so guilty of the “I’ll be happy when….” that I am never really happy and always striving for the unattainable. Your posts ring so true for me. Please know that your words are not falling on deaf ears and that I await your posts with great anticipation knowing that they will entertain me and usually make me face some of the bullshit stories that I tell myself but know that they aren’t true!

  7. That’s funny, ’cause I already feel like the “Unpaid Live-In Keeper of All-Important Documents, Wisdom and Schedules Who Apparently Knows Nothing Yet Is Expected to Solve Unsolvable Problems Instantaneously” for my husband, 5 and 7-yr-olds as well, so I guess that is destined to continue for a few more years, or, um, until they reach adulthood. SIGH. I constantly worry that my children will feel loved enough, that I will be able to instil in them a free spirited attitude to life that will enable them to weather any storm, and of course whether I am feeding them enough nutritious snacks. There is always something, and as always, I am my own worst enemy in this mom gig.

  8. Liz says:

    your posts so often are the mirror i need when i’m not taking the time to pause and reflect and inject some intentionality into my life. thank you for that!

  9. Shannon says:

    I love your posts, they’re so insightful! I wish I had a bedside collection of your posts to reflect on before falling asleep. Please write a book.

  10. jennifer says:

    Just wanted to drop a note and thanks for the bravely, beautifully written posts. I stayed up too late last night reading while my husband and 11-month-old slept. Great, thoughtful insights, not just on from this posts but many of your others too. Before I take a break from reading homesteading mama blogs that feed my rampant destructive perfectionism, I wanted to thank you, Beth. For your important writing and work in a sea of ways for women and mamas to feel not good enough. It’s not about the homesteading mamas, it’s about my consumerism. You helped me name it. Happy day to you and yours.

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