One of the many mindf*cks of modern motherhood is that we’re trying to provide our kids with top notch care and nurturing (like, the best humanity has ever seen) while also…

• trying to get our partners to participate more equitably and maturely in the care and nurturing of the family and home
  
• compensating for the care and nurturing our kids aren’t getting from other community members in the absence of the village
  
• trying to fill in the care and nurturing gaps that exist in our healthcare and education systems
  
• trying to provide care and nurturing to ourselves (in part to set an example worthy of following for our kids)
  
• fighting to change and create social structures that value care and nurturing in whatever ways we can and despite how exhausted we are (you know, no big deal)

All this (not to mention the manipulative marketing, the culture of competition and comparison, and the generations of women who self-sacrificed as a means of survival) leaves us feeling that no matter how tirelessly we’re working, it’s never enough.

Obviously, we need more folks to awaken to these realities and join us in this fight. I’m looking at you dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and neighbors. Care and nurturing is everyone’s responsibility, and moms are exhausted (especially mothers of color).

We also need to cut ourselves some slack as mothers, remember that this is a long game, and prioritize fun and rest.

The unfortunate truth is that your kids will feel the impact of these broken systems and destructive cultural values throughout their lives (and likely throughout their childhood to some degree), and that doesn’t mean that you’re not doing enough.

More mothers burning out is not the ticket to the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible. The better rested and nourished we are–as the core care workers in this world–the more capable we’ll be of dreaming up more life-giving solutions and paths forward rooted in healing, reciprocity, creativity, vulnerability, and courage.

Hammock time,