Alright. I thought I could just keep it to myself, but my conscience is getting the better of me. I had this really great post prepared about all the reasons to protest Black Friday, chock full of revealing truths about fast fashion and progressive obsolescence and the host of reasons for supporting their alternatives. (Because there really are so many good reasons.)
But…then there was an unexpected death in the the family, and I found myself in Dallas among four of my 17-22 year old female cousins (you see where this is going?), my eldest daughter, my sister, my aunt and my mom. Every single one of them is amazing, fun-loving and beautiful, and not a one of them is a stranger to shopping.
Here’s the thing. If the store that one of them works at didn’t happen to be Anthropologie, and Anthropologie didn’t happen to be one of the only stores I actually care for, and they didn’t happen to be having a 50%-off-all-sale-items sale from, ahem…6 to 11 am, this story would never have been told. It certainly didn’t help that my dad of all people — who knows very well that I’m not the Black Friday type — encouraged me, “I think you really oughta go. What a better way to get to know the natives? Think of it as your duty. And besides, you can blog about it.”
So, I went — as a case study. Honest to goodness, it was anthropological research. (Lucky pun.)
Now, you have to understand — there was a time when I was downright consumed by my self-imposed and inflexible set of values. When the anger that welled up inside me over the Styrofoam plates at a family reunion would have prevented me from engaging with the fam at all. I’d sooner go hungry before I’d succumb to their weak and ignorant ways. (I have no idea where my 16-year-old gets it.)
But I’m not there anymore. I am still dedicated to a less-consumptive lifestyle, I buy most everything we need second-hand and I support local alternatives when they’re available. Sometimes I even remember to bring my own plates to a potluck. But if I hadn’t developed the ability to see the greater good amidst the imperfections in life, I would have lost my shit a long time ago. SO, I bent my rule, dressed in the dark and headed to the mall with my giddy and girly kinfolk — every one of us armed and ready with our Starbucks drink of choice.
Do I regret it? The compromising of my values? Not for the memories. Not for a minute. I will never forget dorking out in the dressing room with the cousins whose diapers I once changed, or laughing with my nearly-grown daughter at half-panicked shoppers afraid to miss the best deals. I quite enjoyed admiring my mom and my aunt who look so much alike while we stood in the 20-shopper-long checkout line. I kind of needed that time with my sister, despite the crap she gave me for my rusty, granny-slow driving (at 6 am) and my utter worthlessness when it comes to operating an iphone. The laughter alone made the whole experience worth it. “What, they don’t celebrate Black Friday in Mexico?” someone asked (not mentioning any names). Not just “participate,” mind you, but “celebrate.” Nope, they sure don’t.
I know, I’m stalling. You want to know what I bought.
I did pretty stinking good, all things considered. I thought long and hard about whether I needed another apron…and put it back (even at $12). I fondled that cute little linen coin purse for almost two minutes before deciding to make my own. But I won’t lie. I did come away with a few choice items. Among them, a high-wasted pair of thick mustard-brown corduroys for 15 bucks (it is cold here and they were originally $115) and a half-dozen gorgeous recycled note cards. (Multiple species of birds roosting on a record player suitcase? Are you kidding?)
{link:http://www.screechowldesign.com/}Screech Owl Design{/link} – a new favorite designer
Best of all, I bought three full and glorious wooden spools of velvet ribbon. Aren’t they lovely? The spools I can use over and over again – nothing obsolescent about sturdy wooden spools. And the ribbon? Perfect, perfect, perfect (justified, justified, justified) for the girls’ Christmas presents, already underway.
As for my anthropological observations, I think I’ll tie them into tomorrow’s post. The fire’s cozy, I’m all out of excuses and I have a project or two calling my name.
12/01/2011 at 8:57 pm
this is fantastic. love your honesty and reading about your mother and sister, who will always have a special place in my heart… i, too, am not one to PARTICIPATE on black friday but can understand the temptation. while the velvet ribbons are gorgeous, i have no idea what i’d do with them. but the cards? let’s just say, i have a space in my closet specifically for my collection. i love sending them to friends, and the ones you found are super cute!!! another wonderful read. thank you, beth. xoxo
12/01/2011 at 10:37 pm
Awesome…simply awesome…and so are you!
12/01/2011 at 11:28 pm
You know you loved it as did I. This too was my first 6am Black Friday shopping trip. I hate the crowds. But I’ll do again next year if y’all will come back. :)
Oh and I do believe we, giddy, girly kinfolk, were ready to go and waiting on you to finish shopping at Gap…js…
12/01/2011 at 11:49 pm
Are you really going to make me justify that too? Sweatpants. And underwear. For my poor, freezing babies. ;)
12/02/2011 at 12:27 am
:-)Oh Beth~
This posting is really sweet (and funny because I can really relate right now being back up in California over the Thanksgiving holiday)…I too have been having many of the same reflections being back up here. One that keeps coming to my thoughts is “wow! have I really already turned into an immigrant visiting the united states from the developing world?”
LOL! because for so many years I never understood why my turkish relatives or visiting foreign friends of my family always just wanted to shop when they came here. And for some really random shit! like dish washing sponges??? Everyone had their thing, their capitalistic fix and I never got it, I would always think, can’t we just go hiking instead, PLEASE?!!!
these kinds of scenarios used to strangely haunt & follow me into other unexpected situations. For example, once I was working for this international agroecology shortcourse in santa cruz when I was in college… and one day all the visiting students had a free day off. I came a few minutes late to a meeting where my co-workers/collegues were coordinating who would take who where for sightseeing and fun things to do. Ali took a group on a mushroom hike through the redwoods, Peter took a group to the ocean, Christian played ultimate frisbee with another group, and Jonah took a group to San Francisco for the day but since I got to the meeting about 5 minutes late, the sign-up sheet was filled I randomly got assigned to take a group to Ross??? (mind you this was a group of students and professionals in the field of agroecology…all concerned with sustainable food systems…yet a few of the students from from Nigeria, Mexico, & Tunisia had specially requested the trip to Ross and the Capitola Mall and somehow because I got to the meeting late and had a car I got stuck taking them all?!! WTF)I ended up sitting myself down at a cafe in the mall and reading “The God of Small Things” by Arundati Roy cover to cover, cuz consulting on color coordination for Stella’s extended family members in Nigeria with the background department store music and advertisements was really giving me a dizzying headache.
It took me years to fully forgive Ali,Peter, Jonah & Christian. But now here I am…well into 4+ years of living in Mexico…and now I’m the one going to Ross for 420 thread count Egyptian cotton bed sheets for 15$…and yes I too am a little embarrassed to admit that I partook in the wake-up-at-5am to go to Fries Electronics on black friday with my dad and turkish aunt visiting us here to buy a digital camera and a computer ridiculously on sale for Ivan. And of course my family loves it, to see that I have “caved in” to this sorta thing…and my mom taken it as the green light to stock me up on everything from yogi teas to yarns to new tee shirts, a fleece robe, to a garlic press…I mean stuff I honestly don’t need in Mexico, it is really getting out of hand. But all the sudden I feel so much more like an immigrant visiting the USA the from the developing world and it kinda makes me want to write a letter to Stella in Nigeria to see how she and her family are doing.
Sending lots of love and empathy to you and looking forward to our knitting circle soon.
xoxo, Emel
12/02/2011 at 2:49 am
Oh my gosh, Emel. Your letter in my comment section makes me so happy. It felt like you were right here in the same room with me when I was reading it. LOVE your story. And what phenomenons…peculiarities new to modern societies. Sending love your way. Buen viaje, hermosa. (I imagine you’ve added yarn to the list of things to bring back? :)
12/04/2011 at 2:44 am
This is such a fantastic post on ‘celebrating’ Black Friday, I shared it on the Sustainable Suburbia FB page. I don’t *think* we have Black Friday shopping in Australi, but I’ve been hearing so much about it lately, I’m sure we’re not far behind…
12/04/2011 at 2:01 pm
Thanks so much! I hope Black Friday never makes it to Australia!
12/05/2011 at 1:11 am
I think I’ve figured out that it’s like Boxing Day shopping in Australia (the day after Christmas) – people line up before stores open to get in and get the best deals.
Is Black Friday shopping the day after Thanksgiving? I was initially assuming it was Friday 13, but it belatedly dawned on me that there was no Friday 13 in November, LOL.